Bereavement

Death Without Warning - information and support after an unexpected death by Lyyne Ewart, Hazel Neser and Tricia Irving Hendry

Price: $ 12.00 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available For individuals and families/whanau affected by any kind of sudden or unexpected death, including accidental death, natural sudden death, suicide, murder and the death of a baby or child. This invaluable New Zealand handbook offers key information about events that happen after a death, and people who may be involved, as well as information about trauma and grief, and strategies for managing them. It includes information on supporting children and teens. Included also are brief quotes from many New Zealanders who have experienced a sudden death. It will be a valuable, up to date tool for professionals working alongside bereaved people, and has been made possible by the support of ACC and FDANZ. (A 10% discount is available on orders of 20 copies or more. Please phone and ask on 0800 299 100.)

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What Happened to Baby? by Skylight, SIDS Wellington and SANDS Wellington, NZ

Price: $ 15.00 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available This is an inviting, sensitively written and colourfully illustrated picture book for children 3–7 years old, who have had a baby die in their family/whānau. The text has been carefully designed to fit a wide range of bereavement situations, including miscarriage, stillbirth, cot death and accidental or natural deaths of an infant or toddler. It has been designed with the whole family/whānau in mind, and provides a helpful opportunity for parents and caregivers to talk with a young child about this difficult loss. The story is simple, giving young readers clear understanding and reassuring, comforting concepts to carry with them. It also offers plenty of opportunities for adults to talk with their child/children about their own beliefs and any personal thoughts they would like to share. It also features useful notes and information for adults at the back, to assist them in supporting their bereaved child. And wonderful illustrations by Ali Teo, reflecting the multi-cultural nature of the New Zealand community today.

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Answering a Child's Questions about Death and Dying by Skylight, NZ

Price: $ 1.00 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available This pamphlet helps adults to answer many of the questions about death and dying children commonly ask. Easy to read and understand, it has been tested and endorsed by a range of New Zealand parents and carers. Suitable for agencies and organisations – bulk purchasing available.

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Grief in Young Children - A Handbook for Adults by Atle Dyregrov (USA)

Price: $ 32.80 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available It is a common misconception that preschool children are not capable of experiencing grief in the same way that older children do. Grief in Young Children challenges this, demonstrating that although young children may not express grief in the same way as older children, they still need to be supported through loss. Illustrated throughout with case examples, the author explores young children's reactions to death and loss, both immediately after the event and over time. Full of practical advice on issues such as how to keep children in touch with their memories, answer their questions, allay their fears and explore their feelings through play, this accessible book enables adults to work with children to develop an acceptance of grief and an understanding of death and loss. This book is essential reading for parents, carers, counsellors and teachers, and is complemented by the companion volume listed below.

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Grief in Children: A Handbook for Adults (2nd edition) by Atle Dyregrov (USA)

Price: $ 42.50 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available This highly respected book explains children's understanding of death at different ages and gives a detailed outline of exactly how the adults around them can best help them cope. Whether a child experiences the death of a parent, sibling, other relation or friend, or of a classmate or teacher, it is important for those caring for bereaved children to know how to respond appropriately to the child's needs. This book deals with a range of common physical and psychological responses and describes the methods of approaching grief in children that have been shown to work best. The author provides guidance on how loss and bereavement should be handled at school, explains when it is appropriate to involve expert professional help and discusses the value of bereavement groups for children and support for caregivers. Illustrated with case studies and incorporating current research, this book is essential reading for parents, carers, counsellors, teachers and all those concerned with the welfare of bereaved children.

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Without You – Children and Young People Growing Up with Loss and its Effects by Tamar Granot (UK)

Price: $ 53.90 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available This book explains the immediate and long-term effects of loss on children and adolescents. It describes how loss is experienced at different ages, explains the possible significant consequences it can have at each stage of the children’s development and the effects it might have on the development of their personality. The author describes the factors that can affect a child’s reactions. She explores the special effects of different kinds of loss, emphasises how important it is to stay attuned to the special needs of these children along their growing years and provides practical and sensitive explanations and advice on how best to support them. Valuable guidance for parents and professionals alike.

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The Journey Through - Ideas for getting through tough times by Young People from around NZ, with the Skylight Team

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No image available SPECIAL PRICE FOR JUNE 15% DISCOUNT. This stylish, colourful, graphic-rich, single edition youth magazine is specifically written for New Zealand young people who are facing tough times, or to support others they know. Although it is not bereavement specific, it is used widely for bereaved teens. It is written with honesty and frankness, and tackles difficult issues teens may face that can cause change, trauma, loss and grief in their lives. It’s designed to help readers understand, process and manage their tough experiences as positively as possible. It features true stories, quotes and the writing of NZ teens themselves. The strengths of this magazine: Colourful photos and graphics to engage young people Honest and straight talking Features stories, comments and writing of NZ teens about their real life tough times and ways to get through them Includes questions to get readers thinking about their own lives Helps readers learn ways to face tough times and get through them as well as possible Encourages readers to choose suggestions that will suit them best Strong self care and personal safety messages Well tested and reviewed by a range of NZ young people, and by professionals working with youth in New Zealand. DISCOUNT FOR 6 or more, $10 - please phone 0800 299 100 to arrange this, during normal business hours.

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Grief is like a Wave by Skylight

Price: $ 3.50 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available This colourful, youth-friendly leaflet was especially designed by Skylight for New Zealand teens. Although it is not bereavement specific, it is used widely for bereaved teens and young adults. It highlights key ideas about grief and what it can be like, and also includes practical ideas about handling it. At the back, it features a wallet-sized card with helpful thoughts and info to remember. Tested and endorsed by young people themselves, it has also been used for young adults and adults who are grappling with a grief experience, no matter what it is.

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When a Friend Dies: A Book for Teens About Grieving and Healing by Marilyn Gootman, USA

Price: $ 28.50 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available Sixteen brief, youth-friendly chapters provide helpful, supportive information on grief and address questions like: “How can I stand the pain?”, “How should I be acting?”, “What is ‘normal'?” and “What if I can't handle my grief?” There are teen quotes used throughout the book. It also addresses the loss of a friend through violence and murder. Easy to read. Helpful also for parents or professionals wanting to suggest strategies to teens who are hurting and missing a special friend.

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Sad Isn’t Bad – A Good-grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing with Loss by Michaelene Mundy, illustrated by RW Mundy (USA)

Price: $ 16.90 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available SORRY, BEING REPRINTED. NOT NOW DUE IN TILL SEPTREMBER FROM USA. This highly recommended and popular book offers children of all ages a comforting, realistic look at loss when someone they know dies. It’s loaded with positive, life-affirming ideas to help them cope with loss. It’s a book that promotes honest and healthy talk about tough issues. Has a few Christian references to God and to prayer. A delightful, full-colour book and is one of the popular Elf-help Books for Kids series.

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When Dinosaurs Die - A Children’s Guide to Understanding Death  by Laurene Krasny Brown and Marc Brown (USA)

Price: $ 19.90 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available This book explains in simple, honest language the feelings people may have regarding the death of a loved one. It also features ways people can use to honour the memory of someone who has died. For children 4–8 years. Delightful pictures featuring friendly dinosaurs who tackle life issues that children know about too.

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I Wish I Could Hold Your Hand – A Child’s Guide to Grief and Loss by Past Palmer (USA)

Price: $ 21.50 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available A best friend has moved away. Dad no longer lives with the family. A favourite relative or pet has died. This warm and comforting book gently helps the grieving child identify his or her feelings – from denial and anger to guilt and sadness – and learn to accept and deal with them. Expressive illustrations help children discover that it is natural to feel the pain of loss and that they can help themselves feel better by seeking the comfort they need in healthy ways. Especially relevant to bereaved children.

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Samantha Jane's Missing Smile: A Story About Coping with the Loss of a Parent by Julie Kaplow and Donna Pincus, USA

Price: $ 24.90 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available Samantha Jane hasn't been smiling much lately. She lost her smile about a month ago. That was when her dad died. Samantha Jane misses her father very much. Sometimes the sadness feels so big she is afraid to let herself feel it. Sammy Jane is also worried about her mother, and whether they are all going to be happy again someday. But then she feels guilty. Is it right to feel happy when her father can't be here to enjoy life, too? This picture book gently guides families through the feelings, thoughts and wishes that children experience when a parent dies, and offers helpful tools for lasting hope and happiness. For ages 4–8 years.

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Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley (UK)

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No image available This is the tale of life and death of someone special. Everyone thought Badger was a great friend. At first, those who loved Badger felt very sad and upset when he died. Slowly, they began to remember some good memories or something about him that would make them smile. They found that remembering Badger like that meant he could still be a part of their lives. A classic and well-loved and respected book for bereaved children aged 4–10 years.

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Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen, Australia

Price: $ 19.40 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available How do I talk to my child about death and dying? This outstanding book for children is beautifully illustrated and has proven a powerful tool for explaining the nature of death to children in a gentle, informative and non-threatening way. It also addresses illness and injury as part of life. A classic for all ages, but especially for children 4 - 12 years old.

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When Your Grandparent Dies: A Child’s Guide to Good Grief by Victoria Ryan, illustrated by RW Alley (USA)

Price: $ 16.90 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available Losing a grandparent is often a child’s first experience with grief. The ordeal can be as bewildering as it is painful. Explaining what happens from a child’s-eye view, the little elf characters in this book depict the difficult days before, after and beyond a grandparent’s death. They explore the meaning of death and heaven, as well as how to stay close in spirit with a grandparent who has died. With ideas for action and questions for discussion, this creative guide will help you help a grieving child to create comforting memories and find closure. Contains several Christian references. Delightful, full-colour illustrations throughout. One of the popular Elf-help Books for Kids series.

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Passing On by Mike Dumbleton, illustrated by Terry Denton (Australia)

Price: $ 22.00 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available A grandmother and her young grandchild treasure the time they have together, then the grandmother dies. The wonderful hours spent gardening, fishing and paddling in the sea will always be remembered. An uplifting story about a relationship that never dies.

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Tom’s Story by Mandy Hager (NZ)

Price: $ 15.00 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available A classic, award winning NZ picture book (illustrated by Ruth Paul) that deals with the topic of loss and grief. It tells the tale of Tom, who is six years old when his father is killed in a boating accident. His initial difficulty in believing that his Dad has really gone, his rage at his Dad for leaving him, and the overwhelming sadness experienced by himself and his mother, is replaced by a gradual acceptance based on his mother’s ready acknowledgement of his feelings, his happy memories of shared experiences and the confidence of his belief in his Dad’s ongoing love. The simple text conveys the overwhelming feelings experienced at the time of death, the responsibility that children may shoulder to be ‘good’ all the time so as to help the remaining parent, and the importance of expressing feelings. Recommeded.

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Haere – Farewell, Jack, Farewell by Tim Tipene, illustrated by Huhana Smith, NZ

Price: $ 17.00 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available A family death is mourned, a birth is celebrated, and a little girl comes to better understand the circle of life. Wonderful full-colour New Zealand illustrations, including of the tangi. Also available in Maori – see below.

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Haere  by Tim Tipene, illustrated by Huhana Smith, NZ.

Price: $ 17.00 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available In this story written in Māori, a family death is mourned, a birth is celebrated, and a little girl comes to better understand the circle of life. Wonderful, full-colour New Zealand illustrations, including of the tangi. Also available in English – see above.

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Grandad’s ashes by Walter Smith (UK)

Price: $ 27.40 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available When Grandad died, 83 people went to the funeral. A lot of them cried. Jessica, Colin, Sasha and Tom thought of the good times they’d had with their Grandad. They knew they would miss him a lot. “He had always wanted to be cremated,” said Grandma, “and his last wish was to have his ashes scattered in his favourite place...” This beautifully illustrated full-colour picture book for children aged 4–8 tells the story of four children who embark on an adventure to find their Grandad’s favourite place – but they are faced with plenty of challenges on the way. Told with gentle humour.

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Grandpa’s Boat  by Michael Catchpool, illustrated by Sophy Williams (UK)

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No image available Told by a child, this tells the story of the child’s Grandpa and his love for his boat, The Periwinkle. It also talks of his Grandpa’s love for his wife and family and their love for him too. When Grandpa gets sick and dies, the boat lies untouched until the child’s father decides to spruce her up again. They begin to fix it and paint it and then take her out sailing again. A very beautiful book and a moving story that highlights the power of happy memories to help when a loved one has died. For ages 4-8.

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The Sad Book by Michel Rosen, illustrated by Quentin Blake (UK)

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No image available Sad things happen to everyone. Sometimes, people feel sad for no reason at all. What makes Michael Rosen sad is thinking about his son, Eddie, who died suddenly at the age of 18. In this book, he writes about his sadness, how it affects him and some of the things he does to cope with it – like telling himself that everyone has sad stuff (not just him) and trying every day to do something he can be proud of. Expressively illustrated by the extraordinary Quentin Blake, this is a very personal story that speaks to everyone – children, parents, grandparents, teachers and grief counsellors. Whether or not you have known what it’s like to feel deeply sad, the truth of this book will surely touch you.

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Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart by Alan Wolfelt, USA

Price: $ 54.00 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available One of North America's most respected grief educators, Dr Alan Wolfelt has written many books about grief. This new book is his most comprehensive, covering the most important lessons that mourners have taught him in his two decades of working with the bereaved. In compassionate, everyday language (no pscyho-babble here), this book explains the important difference between grief and mourning and explores the mourner's need to acknowledge the death and embrace the pain of the loss. It also explores the many factors that make each person's grief unique and the myriad of normal thoughts and feelings the mourner might have. Questions of spirituality and religion are addressed. Dr Wolfelt also offers suggestions for good self-care. Throughout, he affirms the readers' rights to be compassionate with themselves, lean on others for help, and trust in their innate ability to heal. Journalling sections encourage readers to articulate their unique thoughts and feelings.

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Grief Encounter Workbook by The Grief Encounter Project Team

Price: $ 34.00 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available Now an award winning bestseller in the UK, this workbook is full of interactive activities that encourage thinking and conversations with bereaved children and young people ( 6 -14y rs) about death and bereavement. It works as a very helpful guide and is exceptionally well put together, providing a framework for young children to express their feelings and talk together about their loss. It could be used at home or school.

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After the Death of a Child: Living with Loss Through the Years  by Ann K Finkbeiner (USA)

Price: $ 48.00 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available A book that explores our own resilience in the midst of one of the most distressful forms of human suffering – the death of a child. Because children aren’t supposed to die, the loss is not only painful but profoundly disorienting. Finkbeiner, whose only child died in 1987, refers to her own experience and the experience of others to show that, while bereaved parents can never really let go, they can and do recover, often developing a new appreciation for their own lives. Says one parent: “You just don’t treat life as lightly, and if you don’t treat things lightly, they do become richer.”

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Time to Grieve: How To Come Through Bereavement to Recovery and Growth (2nd edition of by Michael Dunn(UK)

Price: $ 40.00 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available This well written book is an invaluable personal or family reference resource which takes a fresh look at grief from an emotional, biological and physical viewpoint. It considers the causes and process of grieving, when to look for help and how to move forward through it. It also looks at the special grief after the death of a partner, a parent or child, and includes helpful ideas about support resources to make the most of.

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Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul – Stories About Life, Death and Overcoming the Loss of a Loved One by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen (USA)

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No image available A collection of inspirational stories by authors who have lost loved ones, these stories offer comfort, peace and understanding to those going through the grieving process. Individual people deal with grief in their own ways and within their own time, but the guidance and support they receive from others is what helps them through it. In these stories, people share their experiences with coping and they share deep memories. Chapters encompass the complete grieving experience and include Final Gifts, The Power of Support, Coping and Healing, Those We Will Miss, Special Moments, Insights and Lessons, and Living Again. Readers will be comforted and inspired by the stories of regaining strength and hope from this soothing bowl of comfort, strength and courage.

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Effective Grief and Bereavement Support: The Role of Family, Friends, Colleagues, Schools and Support Professionals by Kari Dyregrov and Atle Dyregroc

Price: $ 58.50 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available Individuals in social networks surrounding bereaved people often feel very uncertain about how best to offer support following the death of someone close. As a result of this, people often find that their relationships with friends and family suffer in the wake of bereavement. This book looks at how people's social networks, whether they be friends, colleagues or family, can provide a very important source of support following a bereavement.Kari and Atle Dyregrov provide concrete, evidence-based advice about how support processes can be improved. Issues covered include common reactions to grief, problems that can arise within families as a result, when to involve professional assistance, how to help bereaved children and the main principles for effective network support. This book will be essential reading for counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, priests, police, community doctors, hospital staff and teachers, as well bereaved families and those who support them.

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Talking With Bereaved People – An Approach for Structured and Sensitive Communication by Dodie Graves (UK)

Price: $ 46.80 (incl. GST) + shipping. Change currency

No image available It can be hard to know what to talk about with a bereaved person. This book shows how, by using good active listening skills, empathic exploration and a willingness to talk about the hard issues, you can embark on a process of sensitive conversation that helps the bereaved person to come to terms with their grief. The author outlines a practical framework of six elements for conversing with bereaved people in a structured but flexible way that avoids prescriptive instructions. She shows how to use the elements in conversations with individuals and groups, and for each element, she suggests creative activities and open questions that can be used, provides anecdotes and case vignettes and gives a brief summary of the theory pertinent to each stage of the conversation. An approachable tool for anyone working with bereaved people.

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Helping People with Developmental Disabilities Mourn: Practical Rituals for Caregivers by Marc Markell, USA

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No image available When people with developmental disabilities experience the death of a significant person in their lives, they are often forgotten and disenfranchised mourners. Yet they have special needs for rituals that will help them acknowledge the reality of the death, embrace the pain of the loss and achieve a new balance in their lives. This book explains how to create rituals for people with developmental disabilities, including the use of pictures, memory objects, drawing, music and writing, as well as storytelling. An invaluable resource that can be referred to over and over again.

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Still Here with Me: Teenagers and Children on Losing a Parent by Edited by Suzanne Sjöqvist, Translated by Margaret Myers (UK)

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No image available A moving and thoughtful anthology of the experiences of thirty children and teenagers who have lost a parent. In their own words, children and young people of a variety of ages talk openly and honestly about losing their mother or father. They describe feelings of pain, loss and anger, the struggle to cope with the embarrassed reactions and silence of others, and the difficulties involved in rebuilding their lives. They also share happy and loving memories of their parents, and talk about the importance of remembering while learning to accept their parent’s death. The accounts cover a variety of circumstances in which a parent died, including death from cancer, heart attack and involvement in an accident. Taboo experiences which are often avoided about are also covered, including death through alcoholism, natural disaster, war, suicide, and domestic violence. The book displays a courageous and insightful group of children and young people who prove that it is possible to talk openly about these subjects without stigma. A valuable support resource for young people who are struggling to cope with the loss of a parent, and insights for those caring for them - parents, teachers, social workers and other professionals.

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