Bereavement
Death Without Warning - information and support after an unexpected death by
Lyyne Ewart, Hazel Neser and Tricia Irving Hendry
Price: $
12.00
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For individuals and families/whanau affected by any kind of sudden or unexpected death, including accidental death, natural sudden death, suicide, murder and the death of a baby or child. This invaluable New Zealand handbook offers key information about events that happen after a death, and people who may be involved, as well as information about trauma and grief, and strategies for managing them. It includes information on supporting children and teens. Included also are brief quotes from many New Zealanders who have experienced a sudden death. It will be a valuable, up to date tool for professionals working alongside bereaved people, and has been made possible by the support of ACC and FDANZ. (A 10% discount is available on orders of 20 copies or more. Please phone and ask on 0800 299 100.)
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Lifetimes by
Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen, Australia
Price: $
19.40
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How do I talk to my child about death and dying? This outstanding book for children is beautifully illustrated and has proven a powerful tool for explaining the nature of death to children in a gentle, informative and non-threatening way. It also addresses illness and injury as part of life. A classic for all ages, but especially for children 4 - 12 years old.
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What Happened to Baby? by
Skylight, SIDS Wellington and SANDS Wellington, NZ
Price: $
15.00
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This is an inviting, sensitively written and colourfully illustrated picture book for children 3–7 years old, who have had a baby die in their family/whānau. The text has been carefully designed to fit a wide range of bereavement situations, including miscarriage, stillbirth, cot death and accidental or natural deaths of an infant or toddler.
It has been designed with the whole family/whānau in mind, and provides a helpful opportunity for parents and caregivers to talk with a young child about this difficult loss. The story is simple, giving young readers clear understanding and reassuring, comforting concepts to carry with them. It also offers plenty of opportunities for adults to talk with their child/children about their own beliefs and any personal thoughts they would like to share. It also features useful notes and information for adults at the back, to assist them in supporting their bereaved child. And wonderful illustrations by Ali Teo, reflecting the multi-cultural nature of the New Zealand community today.
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A Memory Book: Someone I Love Has Died by
Bev Gatenby and Tricia Irving, NZ
Price: $
22.00
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This unique New Zealand book provides an inviting and flexible framework for children, young people and their families/whānau to record memories and information about someone special to them who has died. Published in hardback to reflect its keepsake nature, this book provides plenty of space to individualise the pages. Each page suggests topics about the person’s life and character. As one parent wrote: “This book helped fill in the blanks for my son because he hadn’t known his grandmother very well. It’s been a tremendously helpful project for him – and an encouragement for us all.”
The book also provides guidelines for parents. A special gift for a bereaved family.
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Answering a Child's Questions about Death and Dying by
Skylight, NZ
Price: $
1.00
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This pamphlet helps adults to answer many of the questions about death and dying children commonly ask. Easy to read and understand, it has been tested and endorsed by a range of New Zealand parents and carers. Suitable for agencies and organisations – bulk purchasing available.
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Grief in Young Children - A Handbook for Adults by
Atle Dyregrov (USA)
Price: $
32.80
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It is a common misconception that preschool children are not capable of experiencing grief in the same way that older children do. Grief in Young Children challenges this, demonstrating that although young children may not express grief in the same way as older children, they still need to be supported through loss. Illustrated throughout with case examples, the author explores young children's reactions to death and loss, both immediately after the event and over time. Full of practical advice on issues such as how to keep children in touch with their memories, answer their questions, allay their fears and explore their feelings through play, this accessible book enables adults to work with children to develop an acceptance of grief and an understanding of death and loss. This book is essential reading for parents, carers, counsellors and teachers, and is complemented by the companion volume listed below.
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Grief in Children: A Handbook for Adults (2nd edition) by
Atle Dyregrov (USA)
Price: $
42.50
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This highly respected book explains children's understanding of death at different ages and gives a detailed outline of exactly how the adults around them can best help them cope. Whether a child experiences the death of a parent, sibling, other relation or friend, or of a classmate or teacher, it is important for those caring for bereaved children to know how to respond appropriately to the child's needs. This book deals with a range of common physical and psychological responses and describes the methods of approaching grief in children that have been shown to work best. The author provides guidance on how loss and bereavement should be handled at school, explains when it is appropriate to involve expert professional help and discusses the value of bereavement groups for children and support for caregivers. Illustrated with case studies and incorporating current research, this book is essential reading for parents, carers, counsellors, teachers and all those concerned with the welfare of bereaved children.
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Samantha Jane's Missing Smile: A Story About Coping with the Loss of a Parent by
Julie Kaplow and Donna Pincus, USA
Price: $
24.00
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Samantha Jane hasn't been smiling much lately. She lost her smile about a month ago. That was when her dad died.
Samantha Jane misses her father very much. Sometimes the sadness feels so big she is afraid to let herself feel it. Sammy Jane is also worried about her mother, and whether they are all going to be happy again someday. But then she feels guilty. Is it right to feel happy when her father can't be here to enjoy life, too?
This picture book gently guides families through the feelings, thoughts and wishes that children experience when a parent dies, and offers helpful tools for lasting hope and happiness. For ages 4–8 years.
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When a Friend Dies: A Book for Teens About Grieving and Healing by
Marilyn Gootman, USA
Price: $
28.50
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Sixteen brief, youth-friendly chapters provide helpful, supportive information on grief and address questions like: “How can I stand the pain?”, “How should I be acting?”, “What is ‘normal'?” and “What if I can't handle my grief?” There are teen quotes used throughout the book. It also addresses the loss of a friend through violence and murder. Easy to read. Helpful also for parents or professionals wanting to suggest strategies to teens who are hurting and missing a special friend.
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Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart by
Alan Wolfelt, USA
Price: $
54.00
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One of North America's most respected grief educators, Dr Alan Wolfelt has written many books about grief. This new book is his most comprehensive, covering the most important lessons that mourners have taught him in his two decades of working with the bereaved.
In compassionate, everyday language (no pscyho-babble here), this book explains the important difference between grief and mourning and explores the mourner's need to acknowledge the death and embrace the pain of the loss. It also explores the many factors that make each person's grief unique and the myriad of normal thoughts and feelings the mourner might have. Questions of spirituality and religion are addressed. Dr Wolfelt also offers suggestions for good self-care. Throughout, he affirms the readers' rights to be compassionate with themselves, lean on others for help, and trust in their innate ability to heal. Journalling sections encourage readers to articulate their unique thoughts and feelings.
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Helping People with Developmental Disabilities Mourn: Practical Rituals for Caregivers by
Marc Markell, USA
Price: $
33.50
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When people with developmental disabilities experience the death of a significant person in their lives, they are often forgotten and disenfranchised mourners. Yet they have special needs for rituals that will help them acknowledge the reality of the death, embrace the pain of the loss and achieve a new balance in their lives. This book explains how to create rituals for people with developmental disabilities, including the use of pictures, memory objects, drawing, music and writing, as well as storytelling. An invaluable resource that can be referred to over and over again.
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Haere – Farewell, Jack, Farewell by
Tim Tipene, illustrated by Huhana Smith, NZ
Price: $
17.00
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A family death is mourned, a birth is celebrated, and a little girl comes to better understand the circle of life. Wonderful full-colour New Zealand illustrations, including of the tangi. Also available in Maori – see below.
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Haere by
Tim Tipene, illustrated by Huhana Smith, NZ.
Price: $
17.00
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In this story written in Māori, a family death is mourned, a birth is celebrated, and a little girl comes to better understand the circle of life. Wonderful, full-colour New Zealand illustrations, including of the tangi. Also available in English – see above.
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Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul – Stories About Life, Death and Overcoming the Loss of a Loved One by
Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen (USA)
Price: $
34.90
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A collection of inspirational stories by authors who have lost loved ones, these stories offer comfort, peace and understanding to those going through the grieving process. Individual people deal with grief in their own ways and within their own time, but the guidance and support they receive from others is what helps them through it. In these stories, people share their experiences with coping and they share deep memories. Chapters encompass the complete grieving experience and include Final Gifts, The Power of Support, Coping and Healing, Those We Will Miss, Special Moments, Insights and Lessons, and Living Again. Readers will be comforted and inspired by the stories of regaining strength and hope from this soothing bowl of comfort, strength and courage.
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The Sad Book by
Michel Rosen, illustrated by Quentin Blake (UK)
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19.90
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Sad things happen to everyone. Sometimes, people feel sad for no reason at all. What makes Michael Rosen sad is thinking about his son, Eddie, who died suddenly at the age of 18. In this book, he writes about his sadness, how it affects him and some of the things he does to cope with it – like telling himself that everyone has sad stuff (not just him) and trying every day to do something he can be proud of. Expressively illustrated by the extraordinary Quentin Blake, this is a very personal story that speaks to everyone – children, parents, grandparents, teachers and grief counsellors. Whether or not you have known what it’s like to feel deeply sad, the truth of this book will surely touch you.
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Healing a Parent's Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas After Your Child Dies by
Alan Wolfelt, USA
Price: $
46.80
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Presenting simple yet highly effective methods for coping and healing, this book provides answers and relief to parents trying to deal with the loss of a child. It offers 100 practical, action-oriented tips for embracing grief, and discusses common problems for grieving parents such as dealing with marital stress, helping surviving siblings, dealing with hurtful advice and exploring feelings of guilt. This compassionate resource will aid parents who have been through the death of a child, whether the passing was recent or many years ago, and whether the child was young or an adult.
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When Your Grandparent Dies: A Child’s Guide to Good Grief by
Victoria Ryan, illustrated by RW Alley (USA)
Price: $
16.90
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Losing a grandparent is often a child’s first experience with grief. The ordeal can be as bewildering as it is painful. Explaining what happens from a child’s-eye view, the little elf characters in this book depict the difficult days before, after and beyond a grandparent’s death. They explore the meaning of death and heaven, as well as how to stay close in spirit with a grandparent who has died. With ideas for action and questions for discussion, this creative guide will help you help a grieving child to create comforting memories and find closure. Contains several Christian references. Delightful, full-colour illustrations throughout. One of the popular Elf-help Books for Kids series.
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Badger’s Parting Gifts by
Susan Varley (UK)
Price: $
14.00
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This is the tale of life and death of someone special. Everyone thought Badger was a great friend. At first, those who loved Badger felt very sad and upset when he died. Slowly, they began to remember some good memories or something about him that would make them smile. They found that remembering Badger like that meant he could still be a part of their lives. A classic and well-loved and respected book for bereaved children aged 4–10 years.
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Sad Isn’t Bad – A Good-grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing with Loss by
Michaelene Mundy, illustrated by RW Mundy (USA)
Price: $
16.90
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This highly recommended and popular book offers children of all ages a comforting, realistic look at loss when someone they know dies. It’s loaded with positive, life-affirming ideas to help them cope with loss. It’s a book that promotes honest and healthy talk about tough issues. Has a few Christian references to God and to prayer. A delightful, full-colour book and is one of the popular Elf-help Books for Kids series.
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Without You – Children and Young People Growing Up with Loss and its Effects by
Tamar Granot (UK)
Price: $
52.00
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This book explains the immediate and long-term effects of loss on children and adolescents. It describes how loss is experienced at different ages, explains the possible significant consequences it can have at each stage of the children’s development and the effects it might have on the development of their personality. The author describes the factors that can affect a child’s reactions. She explores the special effects of different kinds of loss, emphasises how important it is to stay attuned to the special needs of these children along their growing years and provides practical and sensitive explanations and advice on how best to support them. Valuable guidance for parents and professionals alike.
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I Wish I Could Hold Your Hand – A Child’s Guide to Grief and Loss by
Past Palmer (USA)
Price: $
21.50
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A best friend has moved away. Dad no longer lives with the family. A favourite relative or pet has died. This warm and comforting book gently helps the grieving child identify his or her feelings – from denial and anger to guilt and sadness – and learn to accept and deal with them. Expressive illustrations help children discover that it is natural to feel the pain of loss and that they can help themselves feel better by seeking the comfort they need in healthy ways. Especially relevant to bereaved children.
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Talking With Bereaved People – An Approach for Structured and Sensitive Communication by
Dodie Graves (UK)
Price: $
46.80
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It can be hard to know what to talk about with a bereaved person. This book shows how, by using good active listening skills, empathic exploration and a willingness to talk about the hard issues, you can embark on a process of sensitive conversation that helps the bereaved person to come to terms with their grief. The author outlines a practical framework of six elements for conversing with bereaved people in a structured but flexible way that avoids prescriptive instructions. She shows how to use the elements in conversations with individuals and groups, and for each element, she suggests creative activities and open questions that can be used, provides anecdotes and case vignettes and gives a brief summary of the theory pertinent to each stage of the conversation. An approachable tool for anyone working with bereaved people.
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Grandad’s ashes by
Walter Smith (UK)
Price: $
26.80
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When Grandad died, 83 people went to the funeral. A lot of them cried. Jessica, Colin, Sasha and Tom thought of the good times they’d had with their Grandad. They knew they would miss him a lot. “He had always wanted to be cremated,” said Grandma, “and his last wish was to have his ashes scattered in his favourite place...” This beautifully illustrated full-colour picture book for children aged 4–8 tells the story of four children who embark on an adventure to find their Grandad’s favourite place – but they are faced with plenty of challenges on the way. Told with gentle humour.
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What on Earth Do You Do When Someone Dies? by
Trevor Romain (USA)
Price: $
22.60
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When Trevor Romain’s father died, Trevor didn’t know what to feel, say or do. Shocked, saddened and confused, all he could say was… ‘Wow’. As he started understanding what had happened, he began writing about his experiences and feelings. His new book – simple, insightful, and straight from the heart – is for any child who has lost a loved one or other special person. Trevor talks directly to kids about what death means and how to cope. He asks the kinds of questions kids have about death – Why? How? What next? Is it my fault? What’s a funeral? – in basic, straightforward terms. He describes and discusses the overwhelming emotions involved in grieving – sadness, fear, anger, guilt – and offers practical strategies for dealing with them. He also suggests meaningful ways to remember and honour the person who has died. This little book, full of concrete advice and expressive illustrations, offers the comfort and reassurance that children need during these difficult times. Written to and for kids, it’s also recommended for parents and other relatives, educators, counsellors and youth workers. Great black and white illustrations. For ages 5–10.
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