Skylight: Talking it out

Talking it out

Young people have said that talking things out with someone can mean

having help to sort out your feelings and to put things into perspective
getting help to feel heaps better - it’s a relief
getting help to stop the spinning in your head
someone suggests options you might not have thought of
someone else can help you deal with stuff - you don’t have to feel it’s just your problem anymore. Someone else cares.
you feel supported - you feel less alone
you’ve got someone to keep talking it over with as you go along
you can be helped to find more help, if you need it

talking it out The old saying "A problem shared is a problem halved" is true. Young people say that telling someone they can trust what’s going on inside them is a huge release. It’s like taking the top off a bottle that someone’s been shaking!

Finding someone to talk to

You can choose who to talk to. Some young people have said they look for someone who:

is a good listener
understands your situation and is supportive
can keep things confidential and private
is honest with you
won’t criticise you or judge you
has ‘been there’ themselves in some way
you respect
you like
you can trust

Someone you might talk to could be…

one or both of your parents, or a grandparent
a big sister or brother, or cousin
an aunt or uncle
a teacher
a counsellor - at school or in the community
a peer counsellor
a social worker
a youth leader
a minister
an elder/ kaumatua or kuia
another trusted adult
a close friend

You could also call Youthline (0800 376 633) or other free phone counselling lines in your area. Look at the front of your phone book for numbers.

But what if I just can’t talk about it... ?

Some young people suggest...

writing a letter, email, note or text to someone. Writing it down can help you get over your nervousness.
taking a friend with you for support when you go to talk to an adult
talking on the phone is easier for some people
choosing a time that suits you, when you’re feeling like talking
remembering once you’ve broken the ice, it can get easier to keep on going
making a list of the key things to say, or questions you want to ask
not giving up - trying until you find the right time and the right person to listen.

More info for young people...

"If you try to talk to someone but it doesn’t help, find someone else. Don’t give up first time round."
Kara

Talking it out

Finding someone to talk to

But what if I just can’t talk about it... ?

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