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Relationships Browse our articles below. To explore our full collection of resources on other themes, click here . Parenting Parenting is one of the most rewarding, challenging, joyous and frustrating experiences that we can have. Read more Explore all resources

Skylight is here to help you through difficult times. We can assist you in a variety of ways with information appropriate for your situation. Articles Choose a topic and browse the full range of articles available Depression Depression is a common illness and needs to be taken seriously. It affects how you feel, the way you think, and the way you act. Read more Loss of a pet For many people a pet is a beloved member of the family and when they die it is a significant loss. Read more Trauma Trauma is a response to either a one-time event or to many adverse experiences over time. Read more Autism Spectrum Disorder (Takiwātanga) Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a difference in how the brain develops and functions. Read more How to talk to children about death What is the right thing to say, especially at a time when a parent is often going through their own grief? Read more Anxiety Anxiety is a natural part of how our body prepares for challenges, but when it becomes overwhelming or constant, it can impact daily life and wellbeing. Read more If you are feeling suicidal Are you finding yourself thinking about suicide? Read more Family break-up When a break up happens in the family, it can be hard on everyone, especially when there are children involved. Read more Suicide and rainbow communities Aotearoa has the highest rate of youth suicide in the developed world, with rates for LGBTQI+ people, even higher. Read more Abusive relationships Partner abuse is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Read more Bereavement When someone close to you dies Read more How to build resilience “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” - Steve Maraboli Read more Parenting Parenting is one of the most rewarding, challenging, joyous and frustrating experiences that we can have. Read more Loss of health One of the biggest challenges of any illness or disability is coping with the changes, losses, and grief that they can bring with them. Read more Ageing As people age, they commonly face many changes and losses. Grieving for these, and adjusting to new circumstances, can be hard. Read more Moving house? Helping your kids and teens through it. Deciding to move house begins a string of chain reactions within any family. Every situation is different and every child and teen is different, but some do struggle with the changes. Read more Delayed grief The natural grief process helps us adjust to loss. Delayed grief means the grief process hasn’t started or is stuck. This can be for a variety of reasons. Read more Loss of job Losing your job, for any reason, can be as stressful as losing a loved one. Here you can find different ideas to get you through this challenging time. Read more Select a topic Select Topic Select Subtopic

Explore Skylight's free articles, webinars & videos on grief, trauma, resilience & change — support for tamariki, rangatahi & whānau navigating tough times Loss and grief Trauma Relationships Mental health Neurodiversity Family change Suicide prevention Resources Articles, webinars, and videos designed to support individuals, families, and communities navigating grief, trauma, and significant life changes. To request a support pack, please complete this form . Articles Explore all articles Depression Depression is a common illness and needs to be taken seriously. It affects how you feel, the way you think, and the way you act. Read more Loss of a pet For many people a pet is a beloved member of the family and when they die it is a significant loss. Read more Trauma Trauma is a response to either a one-time event or to many adverse experiences over time. Read more Autism Spectrum Disorder (Takiwātanga) Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a difference in how the brain develops and functions. Read more Webinars Explore all webinars Practical Strategies for Self-Care and Resilience This is the third and final instalment of Skylight's webinar partnership with the Child Cancer Foundation. Watch now Parenting through Grief This resource was developed for parents who are supporting their child living with cancer, or who have lost a child to cancer. Watch now Grief 101 for Parents A basic understanding of grief and how to cope when you are grieving. Watch now The Power of Journaling Participants will be taken on a journey of positive thinking, problem solving, mindfulness and self-care. Watch now Videos Explore all videos Trevney shares his story This webisode features Trevney sharing his story of how he has survived suicide or lost a friend or whānau member to suicide – it is for rangatahi by rangatahi. The personal experiences shared in the following video may be disturbing for some viewers as he talks about suicide. Watch now Journeys Through Methamphetamine Addiction Skylight Trust with funding from The Vodafone Foundation, has produced a web series that portrays the personal stories of four individuals through their addiction to Methamphetamine. They tell of how their addiction affected them, their tamariki, rangatahi and whānau. Watch now Matty - Resilience Web Series Here’s Matty in our resilience web series. Matty explains how surrounding himself with friends and family made him a happier person. Finding people with similar goals as you allows you to work together and push each other. Matty makes the connection between physical wellbeing and resiliency. Watch now Mana - Resilience Web Series Introducing Mana who explains that having a good support system helps you to grow and get through tough times. To be resilient, Mana thinks you have to be self-aware and real with yourself and others. Watch now

Parenting Parenting is one of the most rewarding, challenging, joyous and frustrating experiences that we can have. Whatever age or stage your child is at, communication is key, and good communication is paramount. This is especially true with teenagers and young adults. Many people say there is a lot more conflict between parents and their children once they reach the teenage years and into young adulthood. Conflict is a normal part of any relationship, but conflict can increase during times of change. As children grow into young adults, there is a lot of change both physically and emotionally/mentally. It can be hard to find a new way of communicating with the young adult that was once your child. Tips on how to communicate with your teenager/young adult: praise and encourage your teen tell them you love them be honest with them don't yell at them let them form their own opinions help them solve their problems, but don't do it for them keep talking to them let them know that they are enough timing - pick your moment to tackle an issue with them be mindful of your body language be willing to understand the situation before acting learn the art of self control encourage appropriate expressions of anger be willing to be disliked sometimes - you can't always be their best friend. Listening and talking is the key to a healthy connection between you and your children. But parenting is hard work and maintaining a good connection with teens can be challenging, especially since parents are dealing with many other pressures. It is really important to look after yourself as well, you can't possibly expect to be a great parent if you are running on empty all the time. Being a teenager today is hard - the introduction of social media and the expectations that we place on ourselves makes growing up harder than ever. If you are having problems over an extended period of time, you might want to consider consulting with a professional to find out how they can help. Counselling for your teen and yourself may help to open communications channels again. You might also be interested in: Autism Spectrum Disorder (Takiwātanga) How to talk to children about death Anxiety Family break-up Moving house? Helping your kids and teens through it.

How to build resilience “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” - Steve Maraboli What is Resilience? Resilience is the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, or significant stress, such as family or relationship problems, health challenges, workplace difficulties, or financial pressures. It is often described as “bouncing back” from hardship, learning from those experiences, and facing new challenges with greater strength. Resilience is not a rare trait. Most people demonstrate it in their everyday lives, often without realising it. Being resilient does not mean you do not experience hardship, sadness, or emotional pain. Rather, it means you have developed thoughts, behaviours, and actions that help you navigate and recover from life’s difficulties. The Foundations of Resilience A key factor in building resilience is having strong, supportive relationships within your whānau, family, friendship groups, and wider community. These connections offer encouragement, reassurance, and a stable network to lean on during tough times. Other important factors include: The ability to view crises as manageable Acceptance that change is part of life Confidence in your problem-solving skills Maintaining hope and optimism for the future Taking care of your physical, mental, social, and spiritual wellbeing Strategies to Build Resilience Everyone develops resilience differently, but the following approaches can help individuals, families, groups, and communities strengthen it: Connect with others Build and nurture relationships with whānau, friends, and colleagues. Join community groups, clubs, or volunteer organisations to expand your support network. See challenging events as something you can manage You may not control the event, but you can control your response. Focus on the fact that challenges are temporary and that you will get through them. Accept change as part of life Some goals may no longer be possible after a major change, but you can set new ones that fit your circumstances. Set realistic goals Break long-term goals into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate progress along the way. Take action Address problems directly rather than avoiding them. Small, proactive steps make a big difference. See opportunities in challenges Difficult times can help you discover new strengths, build skills, and deepen relationships. Think positively about yourself Trust your abilities and your capacity to solve problems. Keep things in perspective Avoid magnifying problems and consider them in a broader context. Be optimistic Expect that good things can and will happen in your life. Look after yourself Exercise, eat well, get enough rest, spend time with loved-ones, and make time for activities that restore your energy. Get to know yourself Reflect on your experiences, values, and coping strategies. Journaling or meditation can help you understand what works best for you. Expect setbacks and keep going Progress is not always smooth, but persistence builds strength. Useful links: Resilience Coping with stress - InfoAboutKids Youthsay - Resources for kaimahi working with rangatahi Self-care and managing stress and building resilience | Mind You might also be interested in: Trauma Delayed grief Loss of job

Mental health Browse our articles below. To explore our full collection of resources on other themes, click here . Depression Depression is a common illness and needs to be taken seriously. It affects how you feel, the way you think, and the way you act. Read more Anxiety Anxiety is a natural part of how our body prepares for challenges, but when it becomes overwhelming or constant, it can impact daily life and wellbeing. Read more How to build resilience “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” - Steve Maraboli Read more Explore all resources

Depression Depression is a common illness and needs to be taken seriously. It affects how you feel, the way you think, and the way you act. Depression is more than just feeling a bit down. Feeling stressed, irritable, sad, angry, hopeless, or empty happens to all of us, sometimes. Depression is getting stuck in those feelings, and it doesn't seem like they're going away. They get in the way of daily functioning, relating to people or thinking clearly. People find it hard to talk about feeling low or depressed. There is still a stigma attached to mental illness of any kind. A person may be depressed if they: feel sad or down for a long time - weeks or months don't care about things they used to enjoy sleep a lot or not enough lose or gain weight, or have a different appetite for food can't concentrate feel tired or low in energy feel empty or lonely have unexplained aches and pains, pounding heart or stomach cramps feel guilty, worthless, or hopeless about the future are angrier or more hostile than usual use drugs and alcohol to cope with their feelings harm or hurt themselves on purpose talk about suicide or say they want to die. It is important to find the right help. Depression can be treated. For mild depression, self-help strategies like regular exercise, mindfulness, good sleep, can be helpful. For more severe depression, see your GP who can help you decide about medication, counselling and/or psychological therapy. Helpful youth websites include: SPARX  which is a free online therapy that helps young people learn skills to deal with feeling down, depressed, or stressed and The Lowdown For further information see attachments and links . Common Ground - The Mental Wealth Project Depression | Mental Health Foundation Home | Depression and Anxiety | Depression and Anxiety | Welcome to a Brand New Day You might also be interested in: Anxiety Bereavement Loss of health

Trauma Browse our articles below. To explore our full collection of resources on other themes, click here . Trauma Trauma is a response to either a one-time event or to many adverse experiences over time. Read more Abusive relationships Partner abuse is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Read more Explore all resources

Loss of a pet For many people a pet is a beloved member of the family and when they die it is a significant loss. Loss of a pet — Skylight Trust For many people a pet is a beloved member of the family and when they die it is a significant loss. They could be a cat, dog, bunny, fish, or guinea pig – but we love our pets. They enrich our lives, are close companions, and in some cases, they have been with us our whole life. Whether it was from old age, illness or an accident, our pets will die eventually. When this moment comes, it is natural and expected to feel grief and sadness . In some cases, this grief can be like what we would feel if a close friend passes. When we lose a pet, our feelings can be very complicated. We may feel sadness, but we may feel other things too, such as anger, guilt, fear or one of the other responses to loss. Reactions are going to be different for each person in the family, but this loss can be particularly distressing for children - as they are likely, to have grown with their pet - or when the pet had a companionship role for someone in the family, (when they live with a mature couple after their children have moved, or when a person lives only with their pet). We may also experience sadness and anger if people don't seem to understand our loss, or they say things like, "But it's only a pet, why don't you get a new one?". We may feel guilt, like you could have done something differently, or you could have spent more time with your pet. Whatever you are feeling, it's OK to grieve the loss of your pet. Some ideas for helping you and your family to cope with the loss of your beloved pet are: Holding a ceremony such as a funeral or memorial service, can help create some closure, as it is a marker of the passing of a life of a beloved member of the family. Children can participate by decorating the burial box and you can put things inside that your pet liked or things that were important for them (like their blanket or favourite toy) Write a letter or a poem to your pet (children can make a drawing), telling them what they meant in your life. You could either read it at the memorial service or put it in the burial box for them If you are making arrangements for your pet's passing (because of their old age or a terminal illness), you can have the family present, so they can say goodbye. You can plan for them to have the best last day, full of love and treats and surrounded by family, before they pass Take some time-off as a family, to share stories and memories of your pet. This could also happen at the memorial and afterwards you could also light a candle or sing or pray Invite your children to create a memory book or board, with photos and drawings to keep as part of the family photo albums In the burial place, you could either plant a tree, a plant with beautiful flowers or put a special mark or rock, so you can remember where it is and where you and your children can visit, if you wish If you wish you could share your pet's history and photo on a pet's internet memorial website In some areas, there will be pet cemeteries and pet cremation facilities. Your local veterinary staff and funeral directors may have ideas for burial sites. How to support your children after their pet has passed? It is expected that your child may be upset with the loss of their pet, the grieving process is going to be different in each case. Some ideas for you to support them are: Explain in an age-appropriate way what happened or has to happen (in the cases when you know your pet will pass). In some cases, an experience like this will be their first experience with death, so telling them it is OK to cry or to feel sad would be helpful, as they may not understand what they are feeling Respect their timing. If you are making arrangements for your pet to pass away, you child may not want to participate or be present. Encourage them to write them a letter or make a drawing that you can offer to share or leave with the pet (if it's private) or ask them how they would wish to say goodbye, if they want to Pay attention to the days after. Children may seem quieter or withdrawn for a while. Invite them to spend time with you, so you could talk about what they are feeling, ask them what they would like to do that would make them feel better, and if possible and appropriate, do it. If at any point you have concerns about your child or someone in your family, please seek support from a mental health practitioner. You could also explore the other topics in the section for more information and ideas or contact the Resource Centre to request a support information pack. Useful links: Pet Loss Support - Pet Loss Help Coping with the loss of a pet | American Veterinary Medical Association The Stages of Grief - Dealing with Grief - Pet Grief Recovery Pet Farewells | Compassionate | pet cremation Pet Cremation NZ // Pet & Equine Burials >> Animal Cremation You might also be interested in: Bereavement Delayed grief

Trauma Trauma is a response to either a one-time event or to many adverse experiences over time. Trauma — Skylight Trust Trauma is a response to either a one-time event – such as an earthquake – or to many adverse experiences over time – such as Domestic Violence. After a distressful event, each person involved, will have a different reaction . For some of us, those reactions may be unpredictable emotions, flashbacks of the event, physical symptoms like anxiety, digestive problems, sweating, nausea, dizziness, and an affect on your eating and sleeping patterns etc. What your reaction will be, is dependent on personal factors, but it is important to remember that: traumatic reactions can happen to all of us. It is difficult to manage your reactions to unexpected events, that are out of your control. after a traumatic event, many people can have long-lasting problems, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) the symptoms you are experiencing after a traumatic event are the expected responses of your body and mind, trying to adjust. You are not going crazy, but you may need support if the responses are persistent or interfering with your daily life many psychologically well-adjusted and physically healthy people develop PTSD. Remember you are not the only one feeling this way, many people will respond the same to a distressful event by understanding trauma symptoms better, a person can become less fearful of them and better able to manage them, asking for support if they need. You might also be interested in: Anxiety Abusive relationships How to build resilience

Loss and grief Browse our articles below. To explore our full collection of resources on other themes, click here . Loss of a pet For many people a pet is a beloved member of the family and when they die it is a significant loss. Read more How to talk to children about death What is the right thing to say, especially at a time when a parent is often going through their own grief? Read more Bereavement When someone close to you dies Read more Loss of health One of the biggest challenges of any illness or disability is coping with the changes, losses, and grief that they can bring with them. Read more Ageing As people age, they commonly face many changes and losses. Grieving for these, and adjusting to new circumstances, can be hard. Read more Moving house? Helping your kids and teens through it. Deciding to move house begins a string of chain reactions within any family. Every situation is different and every child and teen is different, but some do struggle with the changes. Read more Delayed grief The natural grief process helps us adjust to loss. Delayed grief means the grief process hasn’t started or is stuck. This can be for a variety of reasons. Read more Loss of job Losing your job, for any reason, can be as stressful as losing a loved one. Here you can find different ideas to get you through this challenging time. Read more Explore all resources

Counselling for tamariki, rangatahi & whānau – from grief to trauma, arts-based and talking therapies, in-person or online Counselling Our unique offering is a full spectrum of care for those tamariki and rangatahi aged 5 - 24 years with mild to moderate mental health concerns. Request counselling Our Services Dealing with trauma, change, loss and grief can be very hard at times. You don't have to do it alone. Having someone working alongside you can make a difference. We offer counselling for children, young people, and family/whānau who are experiencing any kind of grief, loss and trauma. We have a family-centered approach when working with tamariki. This means we include parents or caregivers and family members in the counselling process when appropriate. We provide music, arts and talking therapies. The range of issues we could support you with include: Grief and bereavement (including bereavement by suicide or homicide) Trauma (including witnessing a traumatic event) Family break up and adjusting to blended families Behavioural issues (anger in children, bullying) Neurodivergence (Autism, ADHD) Illness and anticipated death Mild to moderate mental health issues Have experienced domestic violence Relationship challenges Injury or disability Disaster aftermath Skylight offers counselling services in: Kāpiti Petone Porirua Lower Hutt Wellington Online counselling is also available You can connect with a Counsellor at a time and place that suits you. All you need is a computer or smartphone and the internet. Fee details and more information Skylight counselling ranges from $45.00 to $149.50 (incl. GST) per session. Funding options may be available. For queries or appointment bookings, please click the button below to contact the Counselling Coordinator. Request counselling Other help Request a support pack We can provide support packs for specific situations – just ask us for what you need. Read more Support groups Skylight recognises the therapeutic value of support groups. We offer a variety of support groups for people facing tough times. Read more Other organisations There are a number of other great organisations that offer specialist support and information services for children, young people and their whānau. Read more