Big Feelings, Behaviour and Regulation
- Skylight Trust
- 4 hours ago
- 2 min read
In July, Skylight's Programmes – Psychology Lead, Bridy, attended a professional development seminar with Karen Young, founder of Hey Sigmund and one of the most trusted voices in child and adolescent mental health.
One message from her seminar particularly resonated with us: the insightful way Karen spoke about the brain. She described our brains as our protectors, explaining that when we experience intense emotions, our brains are often responding in an attempt to keep us safe.
The challenge lies in distinguishing between genuine danger and a perceived threat. This is why, in our work with tamariki, rangatahi and whānau, it's so important to help young people understand how their brains work.
The more we understand our brains, the better equipped we are to make choices that support our wellbeing. For example, when we feel anxious about an upcoming test or speaking in front of a group, our brains may interpret these situations as threats and trigger a protective response. When we recognise that anxiety is often our brain's way of trying to keep us safe, we can respond with greater self-compassion. We can remind ourselves, “This feels scary right now, but by giving it a go, even if it's only taking a small step, I am being brave.” Being courageous does not mean a lack of fear, it means acknowledging the fear and choosing to move forward anyway.
Karen also spoke about the importance of setting boundaries with both warmth and firmness. Boundaries help tamariki and rangatahi feel safe and supported while maintaining healthy, trusting relationships, something at the very heart of the mahi we do every day.
Bringing these ideas home
Learning like this doesn't stay in the seminar room, it shapes how our Clinical Service Delivery Team and wider programmes support tamariki, rangatahi and whānau navigating grief, loss, trauma, and big emotions, every day.
If you or your whānau are looking for support or want to explore our free resources on emotional regulation, resilience, and coping with big feelings get in touch, our team is here to help.
