Practical, child-centered support for neurodiversity, grief & trauma

Our workshop delivered at Whakamanawa 2026, the National Social Services Provider Conference in Tamaki Makaurau, drew on Skylight Trust's 30 years of frontline experience, to share what actually works.

Children and young people experiencing neurodiversity, grief, loss, and trauma are falling through the gaps, and the community sector is feeling it. They're waiting for diagnoses that may be years away, sitting with parents who don't know how to help, and living in communities where specialist services are already overwhelmed.

The workshop covered:

• A long-running national programme model.

• What 25+ years of delivery teaches you, and how responsive, community-led practice evolves over time.

• A multi-modal support toolkit — when and why different therapeutic approaches work for tamariki and rangatahi, and how organisations can broaden their practice beyond a single modality.

• Neurodiversity before, during, and after diagnosis — including trauma-acquired neurodiversity, grief intersections, and practical support for families in the waiting period.

The Four 'S' Checklist

State — Where is the whaiora at today?

☐ Have I checked whether the whaiora wants support or is ready to engage?

☐ Is the whaiora overwhelmed, dysregulated, tired, or flat?

☐ Do they need time and support to ground and settle before engaging?

☐ Do I have ways to communicate other than verbal?

☐ Do I have opportunities for drawing, writing, movement, visuals, play, or other forms of expression?

☐ Would they benefit from opportunities to move, stretch, or re-energise?

Style — How am I working with the whaiora?

☐ Do I have a clear beginning and ending of sessions?

☐ Is my therapeutic style and approach suitable and flexible for this whaiora?

☐ Am I noticing how the whaiora responds to and engages?

☐ Am I incorporating the whaiora’s interests, strengths, and ideas?

☐ Am I offering choice and autonomy wherever possible?

☐ Am I providing clear guidelines and expectations for sessions?

Sensory — What does the whaiora’s nervous system need?

☐ Have I considered the whaiora’s sensory needs and preferences?

☐ Are there options available for sensory regulation, such as fidgets or weighted soft toys?

☐ Can I offer hands-on activities where appropriate?

☐ Are there opportunities to use art materials, movement, or tactile activities?

☐ Have I considered ways to make a low stimulus environment i.e. lighting, noise, smells, temperature, textures, and visual clutter?

☐ Could small changes to the environment make the space more comfortable or accessible?

☐ Have I asked the whaiora what helps or doesn't help with their sensory regulation?

Situation — What is happening around the whaiora?

☐ Am I aware of the whaiora’s mental health history and reason for seeking support?

☐ Am I aware of any experiences of exclusion, bullying, discrimination, or not feeling understood? Are they safe?

☐ Have I considered the family dynamics and experiences at home that may be affecting the whaiora?

☐ Do I understand what support is available at home and at school?

☐ Are there challenges at school that may be affecting their wellbeing or ability to participate?

☐ Does the whaiora need advocacy or support communicating their needs to others?

☐ Am I working from a strengths-based and neuroaffirming perspective, recognising differences and working with their goals and wants?

Skylight has Counsellors and therapists who are neuroaffirming - please contact us for more information.