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The Power of Journaling Participants will be taken on a journey of positive thinking, problem solving, mindfulness and self-care. You might also be interested in: Good Mood and Food Counselling... what is it all about?

Vonnie Marshall Counselling Team Leader | Kaiārahi Matua – Whakamahereora About me I was born in Whanganui-a-Tara and lived in Nelson, where we raised three children. After being a registered nurse for many years, I moved into social work roles, and it was there that I first heard about Skylight. My role is Counselling Team Leader, and I manage the Awhi Mai Awhi Atu counselling in schools programme. I am interested in the elements that make a good (empathetic, innovative, trusted, “human”) leader. I have had many opportunities to learn from roles within the Government and Charity sectors as well as voluntary group facilitation roles. Next Previous

Brendon Oakley Trustee | Mema o te Poari About me "With my background in leadership, engineering, governance and coaching I wanted to help young people in need. Becoming a Skylight Board member seemed an obvious choice as I had a personal connection to the organisation, a strong desire to use my skills and a passion for the work. It is extremely important that our tamariki and rangatahi get the help and support they need to thrive and succeed, and Skylight is a high-value organisation focused on this. I feel privileged to work with the wonderful staff at Skylight and alongside Board members dedicated to making a collective difference." Brendon is a senior officer within the New Zealand Defence Force. He has seen and done much during his career, from undertaking management and support positions at Defence Headquarters in Wellington to serving with United Nations peacekeeping forces in the Middle East. Brendon holds Masters degrees (Business Administration, Engineering and Management), a Diploma in Defence and Strategic Studies, and a Bachelor of Science amongst other qualifications. Skilled in governance domestically and internationally, Brendon is also skilled in Information Communications Technology and is dedicated to service, including sharing his skills and life experiences with the Skylight Board and staff to improve the mental health and wellbeing of tamariki and rangatahi. Next Previous

Delayed grief The natural grief process helps us adjust to loss. Delayed grief means the grief process hasn’t started or is stuck. This can be for a variety of reasons. Grief doesn't follow a straight line. Everyone’s grief is as unique as their fingerprint and lots of things influence how a person grieves. After a loss, some people can go through a time when the natural grief process hasn’t started for them. Or it started, but then stalled. Grief reactions can be delayed for hours, days, weeks, months, or even years. Factors that delay grief, can include: Putting it off because of pressing matters that need attention, such as supporting others (including grieving children/teens), taking care of a practical family situation, or keeping routines going Experiencing ongoing severe shock, so the person cannot take in the fact, that a loss has happened. Experiencing denial (a common early reaction), which becomes ongoing, with a person actively refusing to accept or address their loss When the unhelpful expectations and words of others, let a person know they should ‘be strong’, ‘pull themselves together,’ or ‘move on’. This can cause a person to internally shut down their grief processing When someone avoids the pain of the loss by pushing it away, or down, so it won’t intrude on their life. They often ‘keep busy’ and distracted to avoid focusing on their loss. Denying or suppressing grief reactions, can be intentional and conscious, or subconscious. Either way, it is a self-protective measure in the face of a debilitating and frightening loss. We all manage the impact of grief the best way we can. The challenge is, however, that when grief is delayed, physical health and mental health issues can sometimes emerge. For example, migraines, stomach upsets, eating problems, sleeping problems, illnesses, high levels of anxiety, intense unexpressed emotions (such as guilt or anger), disruptive outbursts, self-isolation, depression, and even suicidality. This is not surprising, when we realise that the mind and body are holding in the pain of grief and inhibiting its healthy release. It is important to note, however, that sometimes a person may not have delayed grief at all. It may be that a person simply isn’t grieving as expected. because what or who has been lost, hasn’t negatively affected them the way others assumed it would. We are all different. When the grief process has been delayed, it will typically start, or restart, in its own time and often in unexpected, unpredictable ways. It might emerge when someone experiences another loss. For example, the loss of a pet may trigger memories of a relative’s death that wasn’t grieved fully, at the time. It might be triggered by an event or item relating to the loss, such as finding an old photo, hearing music from a funeral, meeting a friend who wants to talk about someone who is not in your life anymore, or going to a place that echoes with memories. The grief might begin when things have become more settled, and a person has more time to think and reflect. Grief takes its own time. It cannot be forced. The good news is, that when delayed grief does end, the grief can still be experienced in normal and healthy ways. A person’s grief may be intense and full on for a while, just as it would have been when the loss first happened. Self-care and stress management strategies, can all be helpful. If it becomes overwhelming or hard to cope with, drawing on support networks, talking to someone trusted, joining a support group, visiting a GP, or seeing a grief counsellor, could all be helpful. If a person’s delayed grief appears to be permanent, or there are concerns about the negative effects it’s having on their well-being or health, professional assistance is indicated. This is true for children and teens, as well as adults. Seeing a GP, a counsellor or a psychologist, could assist a person to understand their delayed grief and gradually explore ways to address the loss and release their grief in helpful, healthy and healing ways. Having someone outside their usual network who can help them to take time to stop, think, and talk about the loss can make a very positive difference. You might also be interested in: Bereavement at different ages and stages How to talk to children about death Loss of job Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Get insights, tools, and stories from Skylight — and a free guide to help you get started. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Bridy Haughey Programmes – Psychology Lead | Kaiārahi Mātai Hinengaro – Kaupapa Pāpori About me Ko Bridy Haughey tōku ingoa. I am an educational psychologist working as Senior Programmes Coordinator. I chose to work at Skylight because I have always been passionate about helping others and working with young people. I love working in Programmes because it provides an opportunity to support a wider group of people at once, to help improve different aspects of their mental health and overall wellbeing. In my spare time, I like to read, travel, watch films, and spend time at the beach. I also enjoy yoga as I find that it is a great way to destress at the end of the day. Next Previous

Brittany shares their story This webisode features Brittany sharing their story of how they have survived suicide or lost a friend or whānau member to suicide – it is for rangatahi by rangatahi. The personal experiences shared in the following video may be disturbing for some viewers as they talk about suicide. You might also be interested in: Trevney shares his story Journeys Through Methamphetamine Addiction Matty - Resilience Web Series Mana - Resilience Web Series Jahnya shares her story Brittany shares their story McKay - Resilience Web Series Rose - Resilience Web Series Melissa - Resilience Web Series Bella - Resilience Web Series

How to build resilience “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” - Steve Maraboli What is Resilience? Resilience is the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, or significant stress, such as family or relationship problems, health challenges, workplace difficulties, or financial pressures. It is often described as “bouncing back” from hardship, learning from those experiences, and facing new challenges with greater strength. Resilience is not a rare trait. Most people demonstrate it in their everyday lives, often without realising it. Being resilient does not mean you do not experience hardship, sadness, or emotional pain. Rather, it means you have developed thoughts, behaviours, and actions that help you navigate and recover from life’s difficulties. The Foundations of Resilience A key factor in building resilience is having strong, supportive relationships within your whānau, family, friendship groups, and wider community. These connections offer encouragement, reassurance, and a stable network to lean on during tough times. Other important factors include: The ability to view crises as manageable Acceptance that change is part of life Confidence in your problem-solving skills Maintaining hope and optimism for the future Taking care of your physical, mental, social, and spiritual wellbeing Strategies to Build Resilience Everyone develops resilience differently, but the following approaches can help individuals, families, groups, and communities strengthen it: Connect with others Build and nurture relationships with whānau, friends, and colleagues. Join community groups, clubs, or volunteer organisations to expand your support network. See challenging events as something you can manage You may not control the event, but you can control your response. Focus on the fact that challenges are temporary and that you will get through them. Accept change as part of life Some goals may no longer be possible after a major change, but you can set new ones that fit your circumstances. Set realistic goals Break long-term goals into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate progress along the way. Take action Address problems directly rather than avoiding them. Small, proactive steps make a big difference. See opportunities in challenges Difficult times can help you discover new strengths, build skills, and deepen relationships. Think positively about yourself Trust your abilities and your capacity to solve problems. Keep things in perspective Avoid magnifying problems and consider them in a broader context. Be optimistic Expect that good things can and will happen in your life. Look after yourself Exercise, eat well, get enough rest, spend time with loved-ones, and make time for activities that restore your energy. Get to know yourself Reflect on your experiences, values, and coping strategies. Journaling or meditation can help you understand what works best for you. Expect setbacks and keep going Progress is not always smooth, but persistence builds strength. Useful links: Resilience Coping with stress - InfoAboutKids Youthsay - Resources for kaimahi working with rangatahi Self-care and managing stress and building resilience | Mind You might also be interested in: Helping Tamariki and Rangatahi Cope with Natural Disasters Trauma Delayed grief Loss of job Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Get insights, tools, and stories from Skylight — and a free guide to help you get started. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Trauma Trauma is a response to either a one-time event or to many adverse experiences over time. Trauma — Skylight Trust Trauma is a response to either a one-time event – such as an earthquake – or to many adverse experiences over time – such as Domestic Violence. After a distressful event, each person involved, will have a different reaction . For some of us, those reactions may be unpredictable emotions, flashbacks of the event, physical symptoms like anxiety, digestive problems, sweating, nausea, dizziness, and an affect on your eating and sleeping patterns etc. What your reaction will be, is dependent on personal factors, but it is important to remember that: traumatic reactions can happen to all of us. It is difficult to manage your reactions to unexpected events, that are out of your control. after a traumatic event, many people can have long-lasting problems, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) the symptoms you are experiencing after a traumatic event are the expected responses of your body and mind, trying to adjust. You are not going crazy, but you may need support if the responses are persistent or interfering with your daily life many psychologically well-adjusted and physically healthy people develop PTSD. Remember you are not the only one feeling this way, many people will respond the same to a distressful event by understanding trauma symptoms better, a person can become less fearful of them and better able to manage them, asking for support if they need. You might also be interested in: Helping Tamariki and Rangatahi Cope with Natural Disasters Anxiety Abusive relationships How to build resilience Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Get insights, tools, and stories from Skylight — and a free guide to help you get started. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Parenting through Grief This resource was developed for parents who are supporting their child living with cancer, or who have lost a child to cancer. You might also be interested in: Practical Strategies for Self-Care and Resilience Grief 101 for Parents

Pathfinders A wellbeing programme for young women and non-binary individuals aged 12 - 16. Pathfinders Wellbeing Programme Rangatahi today face increasing social and emotional pressures. Pathfinders gives them tools to navigate those challenges, while helping them feel proud of their identity, voice, and story. Pathfinders is a free, creative wellbeing programme developed by Skylight, designed for young women and non-binary youth aged 12–16. Through engaging activities, kōrero, and art, participants explore their identity, build resilience, and grow their confidence — all in a safe and inclusive space. Pathfinders offers a unique, low-intervention approach that blends: Psychoeducation – learning about mental health, identity, and resilience in a way that makes sense Kōrero – guided discussions and reflections on self, whānau, whakapapa and life experiences Creative Arts – hands-on projects that allow rangatahi to express their identity and explore what makes them unique The Pathfinders journey helps those taking part to: Celebrate their whakapapa, whānau and sense of self Feel more confident and connected to who they are Learn skills to support their emotional wellbeing and resilience Discover how to lead with courage, strength, and self-belief This programme has seen over 1,500 rangatahi taking part in this successful programme which is delivered in schools, community groups, and Skylight’s own spaces. “I have learnt to be proud of my identity and where I come from.” “I’ve learnt new skills and a better understanding of myself.” For more information or to arrange a presentation at your school or community space, please contact us at: [email protected] You might also be interested in: Travellers Tai-oranga Matika Pathfinders Awhi Mai Awhi Atu

Our supporters We want to say a huge thank you to all of our funders and supporters. Your support means Skylight can deliver the right help at the right time in the right way. Thank you to our partners and supporters and regular donors: Ministry of Education Ministry of Justice Oranga Tamariki Te Whatu Ora Lottery Grants Board & COGS - Community Organisations Grants Scheme Dentons BUPA The Good Registry Kāpiti Coast District Council ANZ Staff Foundation Kāpiti Coast Funeral Home Haven Falls Harbour City Funeral Home FreshChoice Cuba Street New World Wellington City Skylight receives a percentage of our supporters total sale through their community sponsorship scheme. All you need to do is have your receipt stamped at the customer service desk and put it into the Skylight collection box. If you need the original receipt, you can ask for a duplicate copy at the time of purchase. And to all the individuals who support us in many others ways. You might also be interested in: Our impact Our story Advocacy Our partners

Complaints Policy You can complain about any service provided by Skylight, including those by contracted providers. Skylight Complaints Procedure - (Summary) We welcome feedback and take complaints seriously. Here is how complaints are handled: What Can You Complain About? Any service provided by Skylight, including those by contracted providers. Complaints may be made by you or someone on your behalf (e.g. a parent, friend, or advocate). We may require consent to respond to complaints about someone else. Complaints are accepted in any format and treated with priority. What Happens Next? All complaints are confidential. We acknowledge complaints within 5 working days . We aim to respond within 21 working days . If more time is needed, we will keep you informed. Complex complaints are updated monthly until resolved. Sensitive complaints involving SEAH or Fraud are referred to the Chief Executive. Complaints are directed to the relevant Manager for resolution. Send your written complaints to: [email protected] If You are Not Satisfied You may also contact: Your local Member of Parliament The Minister for Social Development The Ombudsman or Privacy Commissioner When you use a Health and Disability Service in Aotearoa New Zealand you have the protection of the Code of Health and Disability Services Consumers’ Rights. You might also be interested in: Skylight's child protection policy Privacy policy Contact us