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Request counselling at Skylight — book support for yourself, tamariki or whānau. Safe, inclusive therapy tailored to your needs, online or in-person. Request counselling For appointment inquiries and bookings, please complete the form below. For more information about our counselling, click here . Referral is for... Myself My child A student Someone I'm supporting Your details: First name Last name Email* Phone Their details: Their name Date of birth Gender Ethnicity Address Context Brief description of the situation including physical, emotional, & psychological. * Do the symptoms relate to a mental health condition? Yes No Please provide details (formally diagnosed, recommended treatment - completed, abandoned or ongoing – etc) Do the symptoms relate to past traumatic experiences? Yes No If yes, please provide details (since when, protective factors and triggers, past engagement with support due to this and what happened - completed, abandoned or ongoing – etc) Is the person wanting counselling presenting with increased risk of suicide? Yes No Please provide details (suicidal ideation, suicidal attempts, support network, safety plan) Special requirements of the person wanting counselling e.g., gender of counsellor, location for counselling, diverse needs (cultural – Māori, Pasifika, immigrant; LGBTQ+) Funding type Would you be open to working with a student counsellor? Yes No Our student counsellors are in the final stages of their training and work under professional supervision. Sessions are available at a reduced cost. Many clients find this a rewarding and supportive experience. Keep me updated with Skylight news and resources. Unsubscribe at any time. Submit By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected] Other help Request a support pack We can provide support packs for specific situations – just ask us for what you need. Read more Support groups Skylight recognises the therapeutic value of support groups. We offer a variety of support groups for people facing tough times. Read more Other organisations There are a number of other great organisations that offer specialist support and information services for children, young people and their whānau. Read more

Anne Bristol Office Manager | Kaiwhakahaere Tari About me I came to Skylight as a volunteer. This led to becoming the Board Secretary and organising Professional Development workshops across the country. My roles have changed over the years and have included being part of the fundraising team, to EA and reception. I enjoy multi-tasking and especially enjoy greeting manuhiri and tamariki and welcoming them to the office. I organise the Parenting through Separation courses and liaise with the amazing facilitators who deliver this programme. On the weekends I love walking and riding my electric bike. Next Previous

How to build resilience “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” - Steve Maraboli What is Resilience? Resilience is the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, or significant stress, such as family or relationship problems, health challenges, workplace difficulties, or financial pressures. It is often described as “bouncing back” from hardship, learning from those experiences, and facing new challenges with greater strength. Resilience is not a rare trait. Most people demonstrate it in their everyday lives, often without realising it. Being resilient does not mean you do not experience hardship, sadness, or emotional pain. Rather, it means you have developed thoughts, behaviours, and actions that help you navigate and recover from life’s difficulties. The Foundations of Resilience A key factor in building resilience is having strong, supportive relationships within your whānau, family, friendship groups, and wider community. These connections offer encouragement, reassurance, and a stable network to lean on during tough times. Other important factors include: The ability to view crises as manageable Acceptance that change is part of life Confidence in your problem-solving skills Maintaining hope and optimism for the future Taking care of your physical, mental, social, and spiritual wellbeing Strategies to Build Resilience Everyone develops resilience differently, but the following approaches can help individuals, families, groups, and communities strengthen it: Connect with others Build and nurture relationships with whānau, friends, and colleagues. Join community groups, clubs, or volunteer organisations to expand your support network. See challenging events as something you can manage You may not control the event, but you can control your response. Focus on the fact that challenges are temporary and that you will get through them. Accept change as part of life Some goals may no longer be possible after a major change, but you can set new ones that fit your circumstances. Set realistic goals Break long-term goals into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate progress along the way. Take action Address problems directly rather than avoiding them. Small, proactive steps make a big difference. See opportunities in challenges Difficult times can help you discover new strengths, build skills, and deepen relationships. Think positively about yourself Trust your abilities and your capacity to solve problems. Keep things in perspective Avoid magnifying problems and consider them in a broader context. Be optimistic Expect that good things can and will happen in your life. Look after yourself Exercise, eat well, get enough rest, spend time with loved-ones, and make time for activities that restore your energy. Get to know yourself Reflect on your experiences, values, and coping strategies. Journaling or meditation can help you understand what works best for you. Expect setbacks and keep going Progress is not always smooth, but persistence builds strength. Useful links: Resilience Coping with stress - InfoAboutKids Youthsay - Resources for kaimahi working with rangatahi Self-care and managing stress and building resilience | Mind You might also be interested in: Trauma Delayed grief Loss of job Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Sign up to receive resources, reflections, and updates in your inbox. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Amanda Gregan Director of Operations | Rangatohu Mahi Rangapū About me My role is to ensure the business runs smoothly and sustainably, while seeking growth opportunities across both existing and new areas of operation. I was really drawn to the Mission of Skylight and feel privileged to support the incredible work of this invaluable service, making a meaningful difference in the lives of our young people. I enjoy walking, yoga, and reading when I'm not playing the role of taxi driver for our two very social teenage children. Next Previous

Moving house? Helping your kids and teens through it. Deciding to move house begins a string of chain reactions within any family. Every situation is different and every child and teen is different, but some do struggle with the changes. Deciding to move house begins a string of chain reactions within any family. Every situation is different and every child and teen is different, but some do struggle with the changes. Communicate . Talk with your kids, whatever their ages, about why you’re moving. Always keep them informed about what’s happening, at every step. Identify the positives of the move , but also honestly acknowledge that moving isn’t easy and will mean changes. Give them time to get used to the idea and its implications. Encourage questions . Bite-sized pieces of info are good to give them, but they may need to ask questions to recheck things that they didn’t take in at first, or that they are worrying about. Expect reactions. They are a natural response to changes. Talk with them and listen well. Expect physical reactions , as well as emotional ones. Grief after a loss can express itself in such things tummy pains, headaches, upset stomach, thumb sucking or bed wetting. Also tearfulness, feeling low, changes in eating or sleeping, wanting to be close to you a lot or withdrawing, difficulty concentrating on things and playing up. This is normal. Giving your child or teen more than their usual amount of attention, reassurance, affirmation and time can make a big difference to these kinds of reactions. If, a few weeks after the move, you’re concerned that the reactions are not shifting, or have become more serious, see your GP. Ahead of the move help them learn about their new community and the positive things about it. Have photos, pamphlets or maps, or if possible travel to see the new place. Find out about things important to your child or teen. For example, school choices, sports facilities, youth groups or clubs, etc. Check out books about moving from your local library, school library or bookshop. If the children are younger, read them together. Involve them in decision-making , whenever possible. For example, where to put new things in the house, how to do their new room or what colour to paint it. Invite their ideas. Use their help. When it comes time to leave your home, think of ways to say goodbye. Many find this helpful. It may just mean walking from room to room – alone or together. It may mean taking photos. Having a party. Perhaps leaving a card for the new owners that everyone signs. Everyone’s different, but acknowledging the change and loss openly certainly helps the process along. On moving day … make time for each other, have treasured toys or belongings nearby, have favourite music available to play, eat a fun meal together, and sort your children’s rooms first. Meet the Neighbours. Remember that being super stressed is very likely to increase your family’s stress. Introduce yourself and your children to neighbours in whatever ways work for you. It can help families feel linked in more quickly to their new community. Perhaps just knocking on a door, inviting them round or saying hello in the street or as they pass. It can feel awkward, but it can make a positive difference to settling in. Encourage and help your children to keep in touch with old friend s, as well as finding new ones. This is part of the journey, especially for teens whose peers are so important to them. Perhaps use photo albums or boards for memories, and help them link into groups and opportunities in your area so they can meet others. Remember that being super stressed is very likely to increase your family’s stress. Here’s what Sue, an Auckland Mum, found out during a big move. “The kids were stressing out everywhere – and so was I. My teen spent all her time in her room. Late one night, in the middle of all the boxes, I realised something had to change. I needed to keep our family life as positive as possible. Over the next weeks I put more effort into things like providing snacks and meals they enjoyed, hugging my kids and smiling at them, trying to keep myself calm and organised so I didn’t freak out so often, sleeping well, and laughing as much as possible. I let each of the kids take a disposable camera around to record memories. I called a quick family meeting every night for a few minutes to take suggestions and check in on any news or decisions that had to be made. Before that the kids just felt like they were in my way or making things more complicated. Now they were part of the whole thing. It helped a lot.” You might also be interested in: Anxiety Family break-up Parenting Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Sign up to receive resources, reflections, and updates in your inbox. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Loss of a pet For many people a pet is a beloved member of the family and when they die it is a significant loss. Loss of a pet — Skylight Trust For many people a pet is a beloved member of the family and when they die it is a significant loss. They could be a cat, dog, bunny, fish, or guinea pig – but we love our pets. They enrich our lives, are close companions, and in some cases, they have been with us our whole life. Whether it was from old age, illness or an accident, our pets will die eventually. When this moment comes, it is natural and expected to feel grief and sadness . In some cases, this grief can be like what we would feel if a close friend passes. When we lose a pet, our feelings can be very complicated. We may feel sadness, but we may feel other things too, such as anger, guilt, fear or one of the other responses to loss. Reactions are going to be different for each person in the family, but this loss can be particularly distressing for children - as they are likely, to have grown with their pet - or when the pet had a companionship role for someone in the family, (when they live with a mature couple after their children have moved, or when a person lives only with their pet). We may also experience sadness and anger if people don't seem to understand our loss, or they say things like, "But it's only a pet, why don't you get a new one?". We may feel guilt, like you could have done something differently, or you could have spent more time with your pet. Whatever you are feeling, it's OK to grieve the loss of your pet. Some ideas for helping you and your family to cope with the loss of your beloved pet are: Holding a ceremony such as a funeral or memorial service, can help create some closure, as it is a marker of the passing of a life of a beloved member of the family. Children can participate by decorating the burial box and you can put things inside that your pet liked or things that were important for them (like their blanket or favourite toy) Write a letter or a poem to your pet (children can make a drawing), telling them what they meant in your life. You could either read it at the memorial service or put it in the burial box for them If you are making arrangements for your pet's passing (because of their old age or a terminal illness), you can have the family present, so they can say goodbye. You can plan for them to have the best last day, full of love and treats and surrounded by family, before they pass Take some time-off as a family, to share stories and memories of your pet. This could also happen at the memorial and afterwards you could also light a candle or sing or pray Invite your children to create a memory book or board, with photos and drawings to keep as part of the family photo albums In the burial place, you could either plant a tree, a plant with beautiful flowers or put a special mark or rock, so you can remember where it is and where you and your children can visit, if you wish If you wish you could share your pet's history and photo on a pet's internet memorial website In some areas, there will be pet cemeteries and pet cremation facilities. Your local veterinary staff and funeral directors may have ideas for burial sites. How to support your children after their pet has passed? It is expected that your child may be upset with the loss of their pet, the grieving process is going to be different in each case. Some ideas for you to support them are: Explain in an age-appropriate way what happened or has to happen (in the cases when you know your pet will pass). In some cases, an experience like this will be their first experience with death, so telling them it is OK to cry or to feel sad would be helpful, as they may not understand what they are feeling Respect their timing. If you are making arrangements for your pet to pass away, you child may not want to participate or be present. Encourage them to write them a letter or make a drawing that you can offer to share or leave with the pet (if it's private) or ask them how they would wish to say goodbye, if they want to Pay attention to the days after. Children may seem quieter or withdrawn for a while. Invite them to spend time with you, so you could talk about what they are feeling, ask them what they would like to do that would make them feel better, and if possible and appropriate, do it. If at any point you have concerns about your child or someone in your family, please seek support from a mental health practitioner. You could also explore the other topics in the section for more information and ideas or contact the Resource Centre to request a support information pack. Useful links: Pet Loss Support - Pet Loss Help Coping with the loss of a pet | American Veterinary Medical Association The Stages of Grief - Dealing with Grief - Pet Grief Recovery Pet Farewells | Compassionate | pet cremation Pet Cremation NZ // Pet & Equine Burials >> Animal Cremation You might also be interested in: Bereavement Delayed grief Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Sign up to receive resources, reflections, and updates in your inbox. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Martin Weekes Trustee About me "My name is Martin. I'm married to Jane and a father of 9 children aged from 29-years-old down to my youngest who is 7. I am an accomplished leader, board advisor, coach and mentor specialising in transformation and change. I have over 25 years’ management experience as a senior executive working in Europe, New Zealand, Asia, Australia and the Middle East, working alongside multiple cultures and diverse work forces in the commercial, not for profit and governmental sector. Alongside my commercial career I have been involved with the not-for-profit sector working with and on the boards of several charities. This involvement has supported at-risk children, families impacted by domestic abuse, emergency rescue, children’s air ambulance, The Neonatal Trust, education, and sport helping raise over $100 million within New Zealand. I believe every child deserves the opportunity to live a full and happy life in a positive, stimulating, safe environment and it should be every parent’s wish to see that dream come to fruition. Sadly, that isn’t always the case. However, with the advances in society today that dream should become a reality for all New Zealanders regardless of financial or technological constraints and with innovative thinking, determination and personal commitment together we can make a huge positive impact for New Zealand families." Next Previous

If you are feeling suicidal Are you finding yourself thinking about suicide? If you are concerned about your immediate safety or the safety of someone else – Ring 111 Why do I feel like this? We all experience life in different ways, how things effect us will depend on a variety of factors such as your age, support network, emotional resilience . Some of the most difficult experiences can be: experiencing bereavement loss major life stresses (e.g. a relationship breakdown, legal or financial problems) being abused (physical, emotional or sexual) being bullied or excluded chronic pain and chronic illness (including mental illness ) unemployment alcohol and drug use. It might be that you are experiencing a combination of the above in your life that is leading you to feel overwhelmed and distressed. You might be feeling so troubled that you are unable to sleep, eat, or enjoy anything. When you are in a place where you don't think you can keep going on, your thoughts might involve wishing you were dead or you may be thinking about ending your life. You might think that your family and friends would be better off without you. You may be feeling overwhelmed by situations in your life leading to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Although you may be feeling painfully alone right now, it is important for you to know that other people have been there and have had thoughts about ending their lives too. If you think that you are at immediate risk of committing suicide: call 111 and request an ambulance. Stay on the line, speak clearly, and be ready to answer the operator’s questions visit you local hospital’s emergency department call your local Public Emergency Mental Health Service or go straight to your doctor. Each of these emergency services teams are specially trained to support people in crisis, including people feeling suicidal, and are able to keep you safe. What do I do next? There are a number of services and professionals available to help you through this difficult time. There are also things you can do, to help yourself when you’re feeling distressed or overwhelmed and thinking about hurting yourself or ending your life. It is important to remember, that you are still in control of your body and your actions. With the right steps at the right time, these thoughts can, and do, go away, even if they are really full on. If you are contemplating suicide but are not thinking about harming yourself immediately, tell someone how you are feeling, even if it is hard. Talk to a close friend, whanau member, teacher or school counsellor, anyone you can trust. Call the suicide support phone lines or make an appointment with your GP/Counsellor/Mental Health Professional. It can be helpful to have a plan in place for when these thoughts come on. Samaritans - offers confidential, non religious, and non judgmental support, to anyone who may be feeling depressed lonely or even contemplating suicide. They are available 24 hours a day. Contact number 0800 726 666 Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) Lifeline Aotearoa’s helpline and text line provides 24/7, confidential support from qualified Counsellors and trained volunteers. Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) helpline for any person who is thinking about or attempted suicide, concerned about or supporting someone else or who is recently bereaved by suicide . Need to Talk 1737 - free call or text at any time, for support from a trained Counsellor. Remember suicidal thoughts will not go away by themselves, take them and yourself seriously. With the right support you will feel better. Skylight is here to help you navigate this difficult time. We have contract counselling services in Wellington, Porirua, Lower Hutt, Churton Park, Kāpiti, Whangarei, Auckland, New Plymouth and Christchurch and a partnership network across Aoteraroa for support in other regions. Our specialised Resource Centre and library can support you with information, publications, books and Dvds, accessible nationwide free of charge. Please follow the links to contact us for further information and access to the that support you and your whānau need. We invite you to find out about Travellers - a school based programme promoting resilience and well-being in year 9 students. You might also be interested in: Anxiety Suicide and rainbow communities How to build resilience Loss of health Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Sign up to receive resources, reflections, and updates in your inbox. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Autism Spectrum Disorder (Takiwātanga) Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a difference in how the brain develops and functions. Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a difference in how the brain develops and functions. In te ao Māori, it is often described as takiwātanga , meaning “in his or her own time and space,” reflecting that it is an integral part of a person’s identity, shaping how they think, learn, and experience the world. Autism is not a disease, illness, or something to be “cured”, rather, it is a form of neurodiversity that contributes to unique strengths as well as challenges. While ASD varies from person-to-person, some common areas of difference compared to non-autistic people include challenges with: Communication: understanding, using, and interpreting language and social cues Social interaction: making friends, fitting in, and navigating relationships Thinking and processing: approaching problems, interests, and learning Sensory experiences: heightened or reduced sensitivity to sound, light, textures, tastes, or movement Movement and play: engaging in physical activities and hobbies differently Autistic people often have strong interests in particular topics, may repeat certain actions (such as hand-flapping or pacing), and usually prefer predictable routines. Sudden changes, new environments, or sensory overload can be especially difficult. The amount of support needed varies greatly. Some autistic individuals may need minimal assistance in daily life, while others require ongoing help with learning, communication, and everyday activities. Caregivers play an important role in providing understanding, structure, and encouragement so that autistic people can thrive and use their strengths. Useful links: Autism (for Kids) | Nemours KidsHealth Home - Autism NZ ASD / Home - SPECIAL EDUCATION ONLINE Altogether Autism - Trusted Autism Information and Advice Supporting your child if they need extra help with their learning - Ministry of Education About Autism Booklet - Parent to Parent Listening to Families You might also be interested in: ADHD Anxiety Parenting Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Sign up to receive resources, reflections, and updates in your inbox. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder ADHD is recognised as a neurodevelopmental difference. It is not about laziness or poor parenting, but about the brain functioning differently in areas linked to attention, impulse control, and activity levels. These differences can bring challenges in structured environments (like classrooms), but also come with unique strengths such as creativity, energy, problem-solving, and the ability to think outside the box. What ADHD Looks Like ADHD shows up differently for each person. Common patterns include: Attention Notices many things happening at once Strong focus on tasks that spark interest (“hyperfocus”) May find repetitive or less engaging tasks difficult to sustain Can be imaginative and daydream often Activity Has high energy that thrives in active, hands-on tasks Enjoys movement and can find sitting still for long periods challenging Often enthusiastic and expressive in conversations Impulsivity Acts quickly and is often willing to take risks or try new things Eager to share ideas and participate May find waiting difficult, especially when excited Strengths of ADHD Children and young people with ADHD often share valuable strengths, such as: High energy that can be channelled into sports, play, and learning Spontaneity and flexibility Creativity and imagination which can help with problem-solving Strong focus on things they are passionate about Resilience - ability to keep going after challenges. When to Seek Support It may be helpful to talk with a GP, teacher, or health professional if these patterns: Occur across different settings (home, school, social situations), and Significantly impact everyday life, such as learning, friendships, or relationships. Pathways for Support Support may include: Education and strategies to help manage attention, energy, and emotions. Whānau support to build consistency and celebrate strengths. Medication for some children/young people, to support focus and regulation. Mental health support such as therapy, to help them build strategies to support challenging thoughts, feelings and situations. Useful links: ADHD in Children: Signs, Symptoms and Help for ADHD in Kids ADHD in Kids & Teens | Nemours KidsHealth ADHD Symptoms & Signs of ADHD: Hyperactive, Inattentive, Combined ADHD Treatment: What Are the Options? Reframing ADHD Through a Māori Lens | Neuroaffirming Futures Listening to Families You might also be interested in: Autism Spectrum Disorder (Takiwātanga) Anxiety Parenting Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Sign up to receive resources, reflections, and updates in your inbox. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Benjamin Jensen Senior Counselling Coordinator | Kaituitui Whakamāherehere Matua About me In my role at Skylight, I am a counselling coordinator/counsellor. My roles have changed over the last four years. Currently my work involves supporting our counsellors in Awhi Mai Whi Atu schools. I enjoy the various opportunities to support tamariki, rangatahi and their whānau through our programmes, counselling and offering resources. Empowering people to feel equipped to navigate challenging times is the best part of this job. When I am not working or inside playing board games and Dungeons and Dragons I love getting obsessed with topics including history, philosophy and pop culture. Next Previous

Bereavement When someone close to you dies Bereavement is the term used to describe the time of sadness and loneliness experienced after the death of someone you love. Grief refers to the emotions and reactions we have and is a normal and natural response to loss. It takes time and can affect every part of us. The emotional and mental pain that is so intense, will gradually ease, even though you may not feel like it will. Grief can be so powerful, and ebbs and flows like a wave. The thoughts, feelings , and reactions you have can: come and go crash on you all at once blend into each other be brief and intense be hard to describe be scary or numbing and paralysing feel out of control or be delayed and come later. Grief is hard work and can leave you feeling exhausted. It is Ok, not to feel Ok. Everyone is different , your grief is unique to you. There is no wrong or right way to experience grief, grief has no rules or timetable, it will eventually get easier to handle. Take the time and space you need to grieve in your own way. Your loss will always be part of your life and will be triggered every now and then and it may feel like it is one step forward and two backwards. Your grief healing process isn't about fixing it, or making it disappear, it is about assisting you to adjust to all the changes in your life, by helping you to come to terms with it physically, mentally, spiritually, socially, and emotionally. Tips for managing your grief: allow yourself to cry letting it out- getting it out small bursts at a time - talk it, write it, draw it, do it physically by playing a sport connect with friends and family to share memories telling someone you trust what is going on inside you, can be a great release look after yourself - eat well, drink water, exercise, get enough sleep and be gentle on yourself. You might also be interested in: Depression How to talk to children about death Delayed grief Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Sign up to receive resources, reflections, and updates in your inbox. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]