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Help your child navigate grief and change. Get Skylight’s free “Change and Loss” guide with tools, activities, and resources for parents and caregivers. Help your child through grief and loss A free guide for parents and whānau supporting tamariki and rangatahi through grief, loss, and life’s big changes. Get the free guide When life shifts — a family separation, moving schools, the loss of a loved one, or sudden illness — tamariki and rangatahi can feel overwhelmed. As a parent or caregiver, you might wonder: What should I say? How do I help them cope? What if I say the wrong thing? You don’t have to figure it out alone. For over 25 years, Skylight Trust has been supporting whānau through life’s toughest changes. That’s why we created this free eBook: Change and Loss – practical guidance to support your child when life feels uncertain. Download now — it’s free Understand feelings Learn what children need most during grief and change Creative activities 22 ideas to help tamariki express and release emotions Find strength Build resilience, hope, and connection as a whānau What's inside the guide? Tips for talking about difficult topics — gentle ways to start conversations, what words to use (and avoid), and how to answer tricky questions honestly Common reactions in children and teens — from emotional outbursts to withdrawal, and how to respond with patience and aroha Tools for calming anxiety — including deep belly breathing, grounding exercises, and other simple practices that make a real difference Creative activities for support — 22 ideas for helping children express themselves through art, storytelling, movement, and rituals When to seek more support — signs that your child may need extra help from a counsellor or professional This booklet is designed to be practical, easy to use, and something you can return to again and again. I want the free guide About Skylight Skylight Trust is a national not-for-profit that specialises in helping tamariki, rangatahi, and whānau navigate tough times. We provide counselling (in person and online), group programmes, resources, and training for professionals. We believe no one should face grief, loss, or change alone . This guide is just one way we share that support. 24k+ Hours of therapy each year 400+ Families supported per month 130+ Schools running our programmes What support do children need most? Every child responds to change and loss in their own way, but there are some things they almost always need from the adults around them. Here are a few of the essentials: Reassurance – Children need to know they are loved, safe, and not to blame for what has happened. Honesty – Clear, age-appropriate explanations help reduce confusion and fear. Listening ears – Space to share feelings and ask questions without judgement. Routine and stability – Keeping familiar patterns helps children feel grounded when everything else feels uncertain. Patience and understanding – Reactions like anger, tears, or withdrawal are normal. They need time and gentle guidance. The full guide explains these needs in more detail and offers practical tools and language you can use to support tamariki and rangatahi through tough times. Help me support my child Jacob School Counsellor "Through counselling [the child] has been able to acknowledge their fear and connect with joy, family and the other protective elements in life." Glenda Facilitator "Creative activities gave the girls space to express themselves in ways that felt safe and empowering, often opening conversations that may not have happened otherwise." Noel Student "It’s different now. Before I went to Travellers I didn’t really get along with my friends. N ow I speak up to them and I’m not invisible anymore." Practical activities to support your child The Change and Loss guide includes 22 creative activity ideas that parents and whānau can use at home to help tamariki and rangatahi express their feelings and build resilience. These activities are simple, meaningful, and easy to adapt for different ages. Here are a few examples: My Wall of Hearts – Draw or cut out hearts and write the names of people who love and care for your child. Display them on the wall as a daily reminder of support. Make Whānau Handprints – Trace each person’s hand or fingerprint and display them together. A powerful reminder that everyone grieves differently, but you’re all in it together. Storytelling – Share whānau stories, both old and new. Encourage children to add their own tales, helping them see strength and connection through difficult times. Music for Comfort – Help your child create a playlist of songs that soothe or uplift them. Singing and music can sometimes express what words can’t. The full guide contains all 22 activities, along with tips for when and how to use them. Send me the guide Here’s how we’ll support you after you sign up Your free guide, instantly The Change and Loss booklet will arrive straight to your inbox — ready to use whenever you need it. Helpful emails, step by step Over the next few weeks, we’ll send you short, practical emails with tips, stories, and resources to support you and your whānau. Webinars and more resources You’ll also get invitations to free webinars and updates on new tools as they become available. You’re free to unsubscribe any time — but we hope you’ll find value in staying connected with us. Get my free guide Our funders and supporters Support your child — download the free guide We’ll send you the Change and Loss guide straight away, and follow up with more short, helpful emails. You can unsubscribe any time. First name* Email address* Yes, I want the free guide and email support series * Get my free guide By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Counselling... what is it all about? Meeting someone new can be a bit scary sometimes. We might not know what to expect and what the person is expecting of us. Sometimes, it can be helpful to have some information before you meet someone new. You might also be interested in: Grief 101 for Parents The Power of Journaling

Amanda Gregan Director of Operations | Kaiwhakahaere Matua – Rangapū About me My role is to ensure the business runs smoothly and sustainably, while seeking growth opportunities across both existing and new areas of operation. I was really drawn to the Mission of Skylight and feel privileged to support the incredible work of this invaluable service, making a meaningful difference in the lives of our young people. I enjoy walking, yoga, and reading when I'm not playing the role of taxi driver for our two very social teenage children. Next Previous

Bridy Haughey Programmes – Psychology Lead | Kaiārahi Mātai Hinengaro – Kaupapa Pāpori About me Ko Bridy Haughey tōku ingoa. I am an educational psychologist working as Senior Programmes Coordinator. I chose to work at Skylight because I have always been passionate about helping others and working with young people. I love working in Programmes because it provides an opportunity to support a wider group of people at once, to help improve different aspects of their mental health and overall wellbeing. In my spare time, I like to read, travel, watch films, and spend time at the beach. I also enjoy yoga as I find that it is a great way to destress at the end of the day. Next Previous

Brittany shares their story This webisode features Brittany sharing their story of how they have survived suicide or lost a friend or whānau member to suicide – it is for rangatahi by rangatahi. The personal experiences shared in the following video may be disturbing for some viewers as they talk about suicide. You might also be interested in: Trevney shares his story Journeys Through Methamphetamine Addiction Matty - Resilience Web Series Mana - Resilience Web Series Jahnya shares her story Brittany shares their story McKay - Resilience Web Series Rose - Resilience Web Series Melissa - Resilience Web Series Bella - Resilience Web Series

How to build resilience “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” - Steve Maraboli What is Resilience? Resilience is the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, or significant stress, such as family or relationship problems, health challenges, workplace difficulties, or financial pressures. It is often described as “bouncing back” from hardship, learning from those experiences, and facing new challenges with greater strength. Resilience is not a rare trait. Most people demonstrate it in their everyday lives, often without realising it. Being resilient does not mean you do not experience hardship, sadness, or emotional pain. Rather, it means you have developed thoughts, behaviours, and actions that help you navigate and recover from life’s difficulties. The Foundations of Resilience A key factor in building resilience is having strong, supportive relationships within your whānau, family, friendship groups, and wider community. These connections offer encouragement, reassurance, and a stable network to lean on during tough times. Other important factors include: The ability to view crises as manageable Acceptance that change is part of life Confidence in your problem-solving skills Maintaining hope and optimism for the future Taking care of your physical, mental, social, and spiritual wellbeing Strategies to Build Resilience Everyone develops resilience differently, but the following approaches can help individuals, families, groups, and communities strengthen it: Connect with others Build and nurture relationships with whānau, friends, and colleagues. Join community groups, clubs, or volunteer organisations to expand your support network. See challenging events as something you can manage You may not control the event, but you can control your response. Focus on the fact that challenges are temporary and that you will get through them. Accept change as part of life Some goals may no longer be possible after a major change, but you can set new ones that fit your circumstances. Set realistic goals Break long-term goals into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate progress along the way. Take action Address problems directly rather than avoiding them. Small, proactive steps make a big difference. See opportunities in challenges Difficult times can help you discover new strengths, build skills, and deepen relationships. Think positively about yourself Trust your abilities and your capacity to solve problems. Keep things in perspective Avoid magnifying problems and consider them in a broader context. Be optimistic Expect that good things can and will happen in your life. Look after yourself Exercise, eat well, get enough rest, spend time with loved-ones, and make time for activities that restore your energy. Get to know yourself Reflect on your experiences, values, and coping strategies. Journaling or meditation can help you understand what works best for you. Expect setbacks and keep going Progress is not always smooth, but persistence builds strength. Useful links: Resilience Coping with stress - InfoAboutKids Youthsay - Resources for kaimahi working with rangatahi Self-care and managing stress and building resilience | Mind You might also be interested in: Helping Tamariki and Rangatahi Cope with Natural Disasters Trauma Delayed grief Loss of job Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Get insights, tools, and stories from Skylight — and a free guide to help you get started. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Trauma Trauma is a response to either a one-time event or to many adverse experiences over time. Trauma — Skylight Trust Trauma is a response to either a one-time event – such as an earthquake – or to many adverse experiences over time – such as Domestic Violence. After a distressful event, each person involved, will have a different reaction . For some of us, those reactions may be unpredictable emotions, flashbacks of the event, physical symptoms like anxiety, digestive problems, sweating, nausea, dizziness, and an affect on your eating and sleeping patterns etc. What your reaction will be, is dependent on personal factors, but it is important to remember that: traumatic reactions can happen to all of us. It is difficult to manage your reactions to unexpected events, that are out of your control. after a traumatic event, many people can have long-lasting problems, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) the symptoms you are experiencing after a traumatic event are the expected responses of your body and mind, trying to adjust. You are not going crazy, but you may need support if the responses are persistent or interfering with your daily life many psychologically well-adjusted and physically healthy people develop PTSD. Remember you are not the only one feeling this way, many people will respond the same to a distressful event by understanding trauma symptoms better, a person can become less fearful of them and better able to manage them, asking for support if they need. You might also be interested in: Helping Tamariki and Rangatahi Cope with Natural Disasters Anxiety Abusive relationships How to build resilience Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Get insights, tools, and stories from Skylight — and a free guide to help you get started. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Parenting through Grief This resource was developed for parents who are supporting their child living with cancer, or who have lost a child to cancer. You might also be interested in: Practical Strategies for Self-Care and Resilience Grief 101 for Parents

Pathfinders A wellbeing programme for young women and non-binary individuals aged 12 - 16. Pathfinders Wellbeing Programme Rangatahi today face increasing social and emotional pressures. Pathfinders gives them tools to navigate those challenges, while helping them feel proud of their identity, voice, and story. Pathfinders is a free, creative wellbeing programme developed by Skylight, designed for young women and non-binary youth aged 12–16. Through engaging activities, kōrero, and art, participants explore their identity, build resilience, and grow their confidence — all in a safe and inclusive space. Pathfinders offers a unique, low-intervention approach that blends: Psychoeducation – learning about mental health, identity, and resilience in a way that makes sense Kōrero – guided discussions and reflections on self, whānau, whakapapa and life experiences Creative Arts – hands-on projects that allow rangatahi to express their identity and explore what makes them unique The Pathfinders journey helps those taking part to: Celebrate their whakapapa, whānau and sense of self Feel more confident and connected to who they are Learn skills to support their emotional wellbeing and resilience Discover how to lead with courage, strength, and self-belief This programme has seen over 1,500 rangatahi taking part in this successful programme which is delivered in schools, community groups, and Skylight’s own spaces. “I have learnt to be proud of my identity and where I come from.” “I’ve learnt new skills and a better understanding of myself.” For more information or to arrange a presentation at your school or community space, please contact us at: [email protected] You might also be interested in: Travellers Tai-oranga Matika Pathfinders Awhi Mai Awhi Atu

Our supporters We want to say a huge thank you to all of our funders and supporters. Your support means Skylight can deliver the right help at the right time in the right way. Thank you to our partners and supporters and regular donors: Ministry of Education Ministry of Justice Oranga Tamariki Te Whatu Ora Lottery Grants Board & COGS - Community Organisations Grants Scheme Dentons BUPA The Good Registry Kāpiti Coast District Council ANZ Staff Foundation Kāpiti Coast Funeral Home Haven Falls Harbour City Funeral Home FreshChoice Cuba Street New World Wellington City Skylight receives a percentage of our supporters total sale through their community sponsorship scheme. All you need to do is have your receipt stamped at the customer service desk and put it into the Skylight collection box. If you need the original receipt, you can ask for a duplicate copy at the time of purchase. And to all the individuals who support us in many others ways. You might also be interested in: Our impact Our story Advocacy Our partners

Complaints Policy You can complain about any service provided by Skylight, including those by contracted providers. Skylight Complaints Procedure - (Summary) We welcome feedback and take complaints seriously. Here is how complaints are handled: What Can You Complain About? Any service provided by Skylight, including those by contracted providers. Complaints may be made by you or someone on your behalf (e.g. a parent, friend, or advocate). We may require consent to respond to complaints about someone else. Complaints are accepted in any format and treated with priority. What Happens Next? All complaints are confidential. We acknowledge complaints within 5 working days . We aim to respond within 21 working days . If more time is needed, we will keep you informed. Complex complaints are updated monthly until resolved. Sensitive complaints involving SEAH or Fraud are referred to the Chief Executive. Complaints are directed to the relevant Manager for resolution. Send your written complaints to: [email protected] If You are Not Satisfied You may also contact: Your local Member of Parliament The Minister for Social Development The Ombudsman or Privacy Commissioner When you use a Health and Disability Service in Aotearoa New Zealand you have the protection of the Code of Health and Disability Services Consumers’ Rights. You might also be interested in: Skylight's child protection policy Privacy policy Contact us

McKay - Resilience Web Series Introducing McKay in our resilience web series. McKay tells us how resilience isn’t about being hard, it’s about letting things go and not letting things impact you that much. He says that you need to have hope, take care of yourself and to surround yourself with good people. You might also be interested in: Trevney shares his story Matty - Resilience Web Series Mana - Resilience Web Series Jahnya shares her story Brittany shares their story McKay - Resilience Web Series Rose - Resilience Web Series Melissa - Resilience Web Series Bella - Resilience Web Series