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Moving house? Helping your kids and teens through it. Deciding to move house begins a string of chain reactions within any family. Every situation is different and every child and teen is different, but some do struggle with the changes. Deciding to move house begins a string of chain reactions within any family. Every situation is different and every child and teen is different, but some do struggle with the changes. Communicate . Talk with your kids, whatever their ages, about why you’re moving. Always keep them informed about what’s happening, at every step. Identify the positives of the move , but also honestly acknowledge that moving isn’t easy and will mean changes. Give them time to get used to the idea and its implications. Encourage questions . Bite-sized pieces of info are good to give them, but they may need to ask questions to recheck things that they didn’t take in at first, or that they are worrying about. Expect reactions. They are a natural response to changes. Talk with them and listen well. Expect physical reactions , as well as emotional ones. Grief after a loss can express itself in such things tummy pains, headaches, upset stomach, thumb sucking or bed wetting. Also tearfulness, feeling low, changes in eating or sleeping, wanting to be close to you a lot or withdrawing, difficulty concentrating on things and playing up. This is normal. Giving your child or teen more than their usual amount of attention, reassurance, affirmation and time can make a big difference to these kinds of reactions. If, a few weeks after the move, you’re concerned that the reactions are not shifting, or have become more serious, see your GP. Ahead of the move help them learn about their new community and the positive things about it. Have photos, pamphlets or maps, or if possible travel to see the new place. Find out about things important to your child or teen. For example, school choices, sports facilities, youth groups or clubs, etc. Check out books about moving from your local library, school library or bookshop. If the children are younger, read them together. Involve them in decision-making , whenever possible. For example, where to put new things in the house, how to do their new room or what colour to paint it. Invite their ideas. Use their help. When it comes time to leave your home, think of ways to say goodbye. Many find this helpful. It may just mean walking from room to room – alone or together. It may mean taking photos. Having a party. Perhaps leaving a card for the new owners that everyone signs. Everyone’s different, but acknowledging the change and loss openly certainly helps the process along. On moving day … make time for each other, have treasured toys or belongings nearby, have favourite music available to play, eat a fun meal together, and sort your children’s rooms first. Meet the Neighbours. Remember that being super stressed is very likely to increase your family’s stress. Introduce yourself and your children to neighbours in whatever ways work for you. It can help families feel linked in more quickly to their new community. Perhaps just knocking on a door, inviting them round or saying hello in the street or as they pass. It can feel awkward, but it can make a positive difference to settling in. Encourage and help your children to keep in touch with old friend s, as well as finding new ones. This is part of the journey, especially for teens whose peers are so important to them. Perhaps use photo albums or boards for memories, and help them link into groups and opportunities in your area so they can meet others. Remember that being super stressed is very likely to increase your family’s stress. Here’s what Sue, an Auckland Mum, found out during a big move. “The kids were stressing out everywhere – and so was I. My teen spent all her time in her room. Late one night, in the middle of all the boxes, I realised something had to change. I needed to keep our family life as positive as possible. Over the next weeks I put more effort into things like providing snacks and meals they enjoyed, hugging my kids and smiling at them, trying to keep myself calm and organised so I didn’t freak out so often, sleeping well, and laughing as much as possible. I let each of the kids take a disposable camera around to record memories. I called a quick family meeting every night for a few minutes to take suggestions and check in on any news or decisions that had to be made. Before that the kids just felt like they were in my way or making things more complicated. Now they were part of the whole thing. It helped a lot.” You might also be interested in: Anxiety Family break-up Parenting Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Get insights, tools, and stories from Skylight — and a free guide to help you get started. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Skylight Trust supports young people and whānau through tough times with counselling, resources, and programmes. Compassionate care that makes a difference. We’re a charity dedicated to helping young people navigate through tough times Request counselling Jacob School Counsellor "Through counselling [the child] has been able to acknowledge their fear and connect with joy, family and the other protective elements in life." Glenda Facilitator "Creative activities gave the girls space to express themselves in ways that felt safe and empowering, often opening conversations that may not have happened otherwise." Noel Student "It’s different now. Before I went to Travellers I didn’t really get along with my friends. N ow I speak up to them and I’m not invisible anymore." Counselling Supportive counselling to help individuals and families build resilience and navigate life’s challenges. Read more Programmes Practical tools and safe, supportive spaces for schools to work through change, trauma, and growth together. Read more Free resources A curated collection of free guides and tools to foster resilience, inspire hope, and support families. Read more We are here for you We offer specialised information to help you move through challenging times. Loss and grief Trauma Relationships Mental health Neurodiversity Family change Suicide prevention See more Need support? Contact our support services or a crisis helpline Find out more Guide for parents and carers Guide for schools Guide for young people Announcements Every week, more children, young people, and whānau reach out to Skylight for support. And the donations we receive allow us to keep offering free and low-cost counselling, develop resources, and train facilitators in schools nationwide. Your donation is tax deductible and can provide help to young people across Aotearoa. Make a Donation About Skylight Skylight is a registered charity, supporting people through tough times with tailored resources, resilience programmes, and counselling. We believe that with the right support, anyone can find hope and strength. Read our story 24k+ Hours of therapy each year 400+ Families supported per month 130+ Schools running our programmes Stories of hope and resilience Over the past 25 years, we’ve supported thousands of rangatahi through life’s challenges, from grief and loss to family changes, anxiety, and identity. Each journey is unique, and we’re grateful to those who’ve shared their experiences. Here are just a few of their stories. Discover their stories McKay's story Brittany's story Trevney's story Melissa's story Make a donation Support a young person’s journey to resilience and hope by donating to Skylight. Donate Get involved From fundraising, to partnering with us, or even working directly with us, there are many ways to get involved. Learn more Subscribe to our newsletter Get insights, tools, and stories from Skylight — and a free guide to help you get started. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected] Browse our online shop We sell publications designed for building resilience in children, young people, families and communities Shop now Many thanks to our funders and supporters To see all of our supporters, click here.

Our partners Skylight partners with individuals and organisations with shared values. We work with our partners to develop a common understanding and share information on grief, loss, and trauma. If you are an organisation or individual interested in partnering with Skylight and would like more information, please contact us. Partner Agencies Presbyterian Support Central - Family Works Presbyterian Support Central’s Family Works services aims to make Aotearoa, New Zealand the best place in the world to grow up; a place where all children are safe, families are strong and communities are connected. Family Works takes a whole-of-family approach. A-OK Suicide Prevention Training A-OK delivers a range of workshops that enables organisations, communities, workplaces, schools, churches, sports teams and first responders to be ready, willing and able to help someone at risk of suicide. A-OK also has workshops aimed at upskilling and enabling rangatahi / youth / schools to seek help and build their resilience to overcome their challenges and tough times that life brings their way. EAPWorks EAPworks is a proven Employee Assistance Programme provider operating throughout New Zealand and Australia. EAPworks offers you and your organisation professional strategies and interventions for personal and workplace issues around wellness, health and safety, enhanced workplace relationships and performance, careers, and morale. Their professional services make a practical difference whether you are a manager or an employee, no matter the size of your workplace. They provide you and your family/whānau with practical assistance when personal or work issues arise that may impact on your ability to do your job, or affect your well-being. Employee Assistance Programmes are an integral part of your workplace health and safety programmes. Evolve Evolve is a 'one stop shop' youth service in Wellington. Evolve offers a range of services, activities and events in one awesome location to make it as easy as possible for young people to get what they need. And it’s all free! Their team includes Nurses, Doctors, Counsellors, Social Workers and Youth Workers. Young people are actively involved in keeping it real at Evolve. Evolve has young people as volunteers, staff members and on their Board. FairWay Resolution FairWay is a Skylight partner agency supplying Family Dispute Resolution services (FDR) for the Ministry of Justice. This service is available to anyone who has a dispute related to the care of children and might include wider family members such as grandparents or extended whānau. FairWay will work with you and the other party to help you reach an agreement on parenting arrangements for your children, aiming to reduce stress on families involved in disputes by helping you through the FDR process. Jigsaw North Family Services Jigsaw North has a vision of thriving children, flourishing families and healthy communities. Their mission statement is to awhi (support) families through counselling, education, family support and whanaungatanga. They offer counselling and family therapy for children, young people, family/whanau and individuals who are in need of support dealing with difficult life situations in an environment that is safe, non-judgemental and confidential. There is also social work support and free parenting education programmes. Jigsaw Whanganui Jigsaw Whanganui works alongside whānau and families in Whanganui, Rangitīkei and Ruapehu to provide good care and nurture their children. The agency has a reputation for strong teamwork, professional excellence, respectful relationships, extensive networks and an absolute commitment to the integrity of families and children’s well-being. Newtown Budgeting and Advocacy Service The Newtown Budgeting and Advocacy Service is dedicated to providing free, confidential, culturally aware and non judgemental budgeting advice to individuals and families in the Wellington community to help them to resolve financial problems and to develop their own budgeting skills. This service is affilliated with the New Zealand Federation of Family Budgeting Services. Southland Loss & Grief Centre The Southland Loss & Grief Centre offers support for people living with loss and grief of any sort - including grief from bereavement, separation, illness, isolation and other life changes. Victim Support Victim Support is an independent incorporated society that provides a free 24 / 7 community response to help victims of serious crime and trauma. Victim Support provides emotional and practical support, information, referral to other support services and advocacy for the rights of victims. This support helps victims find strength, hope and safety in the face of grief and trauma at what may be the worst time of their life. You might also be interested in: Our story Our supporters Work with us

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Get involved Support Skylight by donating to the Flashlight Fund, organising or joining fundraising events, purchasing an Entertainment Book, or setting up a Givealittle page Wills and legacy giving We are excited to partner with Gathered Here to make legacy giving as easy as possible for our supporters. Now, Skylight supporters can write a will for free just by clicking here . Wills written on Gathered Here are completely free of charge and include free updates for life. No matter how many times you change your mind, you can change your will too. Importantly, if you do choose to pledge a gift to Skylight, we will receive 100% of that gift when you die. Gathered Here never takes a cut of pledged gifts, and your hard-earned money will be used to empower tamariki and rangatahi to thrive – by supporting the delivery of our counselling, programmes, and resources to help them navigate grief, loss, trauma, change, and tough times. Even if you’re not ready to pledge a gift to charity, you can still use this opportunity to complete your will for free. Whether you include a gift or not, completing your will is an act of kindness to the people closest to you. It brings them clarity in a time that will no doubt be stressful, lets your loved ones know your final wishes, and ensures your assets go where you want them to. Don’t delay any longer, complete your free online will today and you could create a life-changing legacy while still looking out for the people you love. Flashlight Fund The Flashlight Fund provides access to free counselling for children, young people and whānau facing tough times, who otherwise couldn’t afford it. A donation to the Flashlight Fund would be very much appreciated. Fundraise for us If you have a great idea and would like to fundraise for Skylight we would love to hear from you! People just like you who take part in events all around the country choose to fundraise for Skylight and support our work. Whether it’s Round the Bays, the Taupō Cycle Challenge, Iron Māori, or a local fun run or dog walk event – you could fundraise for Skylight alongside your training for and taking part in the event. You might want to ask friends and whānau to sponsor you, collect their donations and bank them once you’ve completed the event, or you could set up a fundraising page on Givealittle This will make it easy for you to tell people what you’re doing and why, and collect donations. Your supporters will get a tax receipt for their donation immediately and the money will be direct credited into our bank account, so you don’t have to worry about depositing it into our account. Entertainment Book Save hundreds of dollars every year on dining, attractions and at retail outlets! Order yours online today Skylight receives 20% for every book or digital membership that we sell. Givealittle Whether you're organising your own fundraising activity or event, taking part in an existing event, fundraising at work or school, or just want to set up an online fundraising page to support the work that Skylight does in our communities across Aotearoa, Givealittle is a great online platform to do that - you just need to choose Skylight as the beneficiary of your fundraising efforts. Anyone who makes a donation will get an immediate tax receipt and the money that your supporters donate will get direct credited to our bank account. You might also be interested in: Professional development opportunities Our story Contact us Organise your own fundraising event Fundraising ideas

Suicide and rainbow communities Aotearoa has the highest rate of youth suicide in the developed world, with rates for LGBTQI+ people, even higher. If you are concerned about your immediate safety or the safety of someone else – ring 111 Rates of suicide and self-harm in Aotearoa are high by OECD standards. Homosexual youth rates of mental distress, suicidal and self-harm behaviours have been measured up to 12 times the rate for heterosexual youth (Christchurch Health and Development Study 2005). Rates for trans* (transgender or gender-queer) people, are even higher. A report commissioned and published as part of the Ministry of Health's Suicide Prevention Research Fund in 2012, found that LGBTQI+ people have higher lifetime risk for mental health problems, including depression , anxiety , suicide and self-harm, substance misuse and eating disorders, than their peers. Research shows that there are different factors that contribute to increase the risk of suicide in LGBTQI+ communities, especially in young people, such as growing up in harmful environments, being rejected at home, school, church or by other communities, being bullied, the lack of access to safe or supportive spaces and the lack of mental health care. It is the responsibility of everyone, to create safe and nurturing environments. Many LGBTQI+ people face discrimination, bullying, social exclusion and other challenges, that could lead to them developing mental health problems. Negative life experiences can result in mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts or behaviour whether you are LGBTQI+ or not and it is important to seek help as soon as possible. How can you support a LGBTQI+ young person Talk with and listen to them. Find a way that invites them to have an open discussion about sexual orientation and/or gender identity, as this will help them feel loved and supported. Provide support. Respond calmly and use respectful language. Stay involved. Make an effort to know their friends and to know what they are doing, as this can help them stay safe and feel cared about. Be proactive. You can access many organisations and online information resources to learn more about LGBTQI+ needs. If you or someone you know is facing tough times Skylight can offer support through counselling and/or referral to other organisations, or helpful information through our resource centre. You might also be interested in: If you are feeling suicidal Abusive relationships How to build resilience Subscribe to our newsletter Looking for more support? Get insights, tools, and stories from Skylight — and a free guide to help you get started. You can unsubscribe at any time. First name Email address* Yes, subscribe me to your newsletter. Subscribe By submitting this form, you consent and agree to Skylight Trust collecting and handling your personal information in accordance with our privacy policy . If you have any questions or wish to view or amend your information, please email us at [email protected]

Mental health Browse our articles below. To explore our full collection of resources on other themes, click here . Depression Depression is a common illness and needs to be taken seriously. It affects how you feel, the way you think, and the way you act. Read more Anxiety Anxiety is a natural part of how our body prepares for challenges, but when it becomes overwhelming or constant, it can impact daily life and wellbeing. Read more How to build resilience “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” - Steve Maraboli Read more Explore all resources

Webinars Browse our webinars below. To explore our full collection of resources, click here . Practical Strategies for Self-Care and Resilience This is the third and final instalment of Skylight's webinar partnership with the Child Cancer Foundation. Watch now Parenting through Grief This resource was developed for parents who are supporting their child living with cancer, or who have lost a child to cancer. Watch now Grief 101 for Parents A basic understanding of grief and how to cope when you are grieving. Watch now The Power of Journaling Participants will be taken on a journey of positive thinking, problem solving, mindfulness and self-care. Watch now Good Mood and Food This session will guide students from years 7, 8 and 9 (11-13 years old), through an informative session on the mind and body connection in relation to our food choices, how we process our thoughts and the importance of movement. Watch now Counselling... what is it all about? Meeting someone new can be a bit scary sometimes. We might not know what to expect and what the person is expecting of us. Sometimes, it can be helpful to have some information before you meet someone new. Watch now Is a Worry Worrying You? An introduction to understanding worries and anxiety Watch now What is trauma? This webinar is presented by Roni who is a Strategic Interventionist/Relationship Educator and works within a trauma-informed practice. Her expertise covers such topics as attachment, addiction, trauma, emotional intelligence, and raising emotionally healthy children in today's stressful society. Watch now

Bella - Resilience Web Series Bella focuses on how resilience is finding your voice and bouncing back. By sharing her experiences, she shows the importance of finding strength through connections and community. You might also be interested in: Trevney shares his story Rose - Resilience Web Series Practical Strategies for Self-Care and Resilience Good Mood and Food

Fundraising ideas There are hundreds of ways you could fundraise for us and we’re always excited by the great ideas people come up with, here are just a few that we hope might inspire you. There are hundreds of ways you could fundraise for us and we’re always excited by the great ideas people come up with, here are just a few that we hope might inspire you: Auction something on Trademe, at an event, work or school Have a stall at a local market or fair, hold a garage sale, or car boot sale Hire out what you do best – it could be mowing lawns, handyperson, sewing curtains, or a massage Run, run, run – you could run a marathon, join a local fun-run or run anywhere you want Organise a golf, tennis or darts tournament Compete in an event, or ask your gym to host one Give up chocolate, social media, that morning coffee or shopping – you choose, and pick how long for then get your friends and whānau to sponsor you Shave your head or beard, or maybe don’t get a haircut for 6 months? Set yourself a challenge, or ask your friends to set you a challenge – it could be to learn a new language, do that skydive you’ve always talked about, or start taking public transport to work, set yourself a swimming goal – or anything else you can think of Host a morning tea, themed lunch or coffee morning Hold a bake sale or sausage sizzle Have a dinner party and ask your guests to donate what they’d pay for the same meal in a restaurant Eating competitions - how many crackers without drinking water, how many pies or chillies? Office Olympics – who can type fastest, or race down the corridor in a swivel chair Have a ‘guess who the baby in the photo is’ competition A dance party, ball or disco School mufti day or a dress up/dress down day at work Organise a fashion show, an art exhibition or art class Guess how many sweets in the jar, soccer balls in the car or baked beans in the bucket?! Organise a quiz night, games night, theatre or movie night We’ve got loads more ideas of fun ways to fundraise, big and small, so please get in touch with us if you’re thinking of fundraising to support Skylight’s work in our communities. You might also be interested in: Our story Contact us Organise your own fundraising event Get involved

Katharine Te Hau Bowden Non-voting Trustee About me "After getting to know more about Skylight Trust and the support they offer tamariki, I was inspired to become a Trustee. I wanted to help tamariki through tough times, and I knew first-hand the benefits – and had the privilege – of being able to access therapy when I needed it. Therapy has been instrumental in me achieving my goals, and helping me navigate trauma. The difficult topics Skylight deals with – grief, loss, trauma – are experienced by many tamariki and it is important that there is an organisation like Skylight there, to support them when they need it." Katherine’s most recent role has been Principal Advisor at Kāinga Ora Homes and Communities. She has a Bachelor of Business with a double major in Marketing and Advertising and has recently completed a Post Graduate Certificate in Public Management. Katherine also sits on a range of governance bodies and is committed to raising Skylight’s profile, so it can continue to support the tamariki of Aotearoa. Next Previous

Skylight's child protection policy Skylight Trust recognises that it has a duty of care for the safety, welfare, and well-being of tamariki and rangatahi and will act in ways which protect them from all forms of abuse and harm. Skylight Trust asserts that all tamariki and rangatahi have equal rights to protection from abuse, neglect, and exploitation regardless of their gender, race, religion, political beliefs, age, physical or mental health, sexual orientation, whānau and social background, and culture, economic status, or criminal background. The decisions and actions of Skylight Trust in response to any child protection concern will be guided by the principle of “the welfare and best interests of tamariki and rangatahi”. Skylight Trust acknowledges, and will adhere to, the principles of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. All services provided by Skylight Trust for the safety and wellbeing of tamariki and rangatahi adhere to the principles of partnership, protection, and participation; and the rights and responsibilities accorded by Te Tiriti o Waitangi. All services provided by Skylight Trust for the safety and wellbeing of tamariki and rangatahi have regard to mana tamaiti (tamariki and rangatahi ) – the intrinsic value and inherent dignity derived from a tamariki or rangatahi’s whakapapa and their belonging to a whānau, hapū, and iwi; ensuring the upholding, and protection, of Māori rights and interests, in accordance with the Oranga Tamariki Act 1989. Download the Full Policy You might also be interested in: Te Kunenga Māori Strategy and Action Plan 2025 Privacy policy Contact us