What is Ambiguous Loss?
- Maddie Barrett
- 2 hours ago
- 2 min read
Ambiguous loss, or ambiguous grief, refers to the loss that is felt without resolution or closure. The term was first coined in psychological research by Pauline Boss in 1977, but has been written about decades earlier by poets. Since then, ambiguous loss has expanded from its original meaning regarding grief from war to a spectrum of contexts in which grief is felt without closure (Boss & Yeats, 2014).
As the title explains, ambiguous loss creates a complicated type of grief. It may appear similar to the confusion, ambiguity, and sadness felt after a loved one dies, but the defining factor in this case is that the loss itself is ambiguous.
To clarify, when someone dies and a funeral is held for them, sadness and grief will undoubtedly be felt. But the loss itself is not ambiguous, as the person in this situation has certainly died.
But, if a person were to find out that their partner had gone missing overseas (eg. during war), they would feel grief because the situation is ambiguous. The person may feel grief for many years without resolution. Their partner could have died that day, or may remain alive for many more years, without any way of knowing. This example illustrates the grief that arises from ambiguous loss.
(example taken from Boss & Yeats, 2014)
In their theory, Boss (1999, 2011) proposes two possible types of ambiguous loss;
Physical absence with Psychological presence | Psychological absence with Physical presence |
War, Natural disasters, Suicide, | Dementia, Major Depression, Medical Coma, |
This is not an exhaustive list of the situations in which ambiguous loss may occur, but it shows just some of the ways it may show up.
For a full list, read Boss and Yeats (2014) summary.
Coping with Ambiguous Loss
Healthline presents coping strategies to help manage the emotional strain of ambiguous grief from ambiguous loss. Read more here.
Acknowledge the ambiguity: The importance of recognising that the loss is unresolved and may take time to process is a critical step in coping with ambiguous grief. Validating the complexity of the feelings involved can bring a sense of relief.
Find meaning: Creating rituals or activities that honour the relationship can provide a sense of closure. Finding ways that facilitate meaningful connections, whether through memory or symbolic gestures, can help with healing.
Seek support: Connecting with others who understand ambiguous grief can be invaluable. Support groups or counselling can provide validation and a sense of belonging.
Practice self-compassion: It is essential to be kind to yourself during this challenging process. Recognising that grief is complicated and that it’s OK to feel a range of emotions is an important part of self-care.
Professional help: Seeking professional help from therapists who specialise in grief and loss can provide guidance and coping mechanisms for navigating the complicated emotions that come with ambiguous grief.
If you, or someone you know, is struggling, reach out now:
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