— Skylight Trust

When someone close to you dies​

Bereavement is the term used to describe the time of sadness and loneliness experienced after the death of someone you love. Grief refers to the emotions and reactions we have and is a normal and natural response to loss.

It takes time and can affect every part of us. The emotional and mental pain that is so intense, will gradually ease, even though you may not feel like it will.

Grief can be so powerful, and ebbs and flows like a wave. 

The thoughts, feelings, and reactions you have can:

  • come and go
  • crash on you all at once
  • blend into each other
  • be brief and intense
  • be hard to describe
  • be scary or numbing and paralysing
  • feel out of control or be delayed and come later.

Grief is hard work and can leave you feeling exhausted. It is Ok, not to feel Ok.

Everyone is different, your grief is unique to you. There is no wrong or right way to experience grief, grief has no rules or timetable, it will eventually get easier to handle. Take the time and space you need to grieve in your own way.

Your loss will always be part of your life and will be triggered every now and then and it may feel like it is one step forward and two backwards. Your grief healing process isn't about fixing it, or making it disappear, it is about assisting you to adjust to all the changes in your life, by helping you to come to terms with it physically, mentally, spiritually, socially, and emotionally.

Tips for managing your grief:

  • allow yourself to cry  
  • letting it out- getting it out small bursts at a time - talk it, write it, draw it, do it physically by playing a sport
  • connect with friends and family to share memories
  • telling someone you trust what is going on inside you, can be a great release
  • look after yourself - eat well, drink water, exercise, get enough sleep and be gentle on yourself.

Resources Available at Skylight

Skylight is here to help you through difficult times. We can assist you in a variety of ways with information appropriate for your situation. You are welcome to visit us and receive free information and a support pack from our resource centre and borrow books from the specialist library. We also facilitate Professional Development training and offer Counselling support services for children, young people, family/whānau and individuals who are experiencing tough times.

Request a Pack Library

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